


Only You and Me

by jjongbluemoon



Category: SHINee
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Love, High School AU, M/M, Slow Burn, based on the seven days manga, fluffy jongyu abound!!, slightly inspired by it at least
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2019-03-13
Packaged: 2019-09-29 22:23:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 35,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17211944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jjongbluemoon/pseuds/jjongbluemoon
Summary: Lee Jinki is a top tier student with a distinct disability - he's unable to say no to anyone who confesses to him.Kim Jonghyun is a lazy student who cares more about skipping class than working hard. After a series of unfortunate incidents that leads to him witnessing three of Jinki's confessions, one after the other, Jonghyun decides to help Jinki break his curse.By dating him.Because he definitely will not develop any feelings for Lee Jinki.Absolutely none whatsoever.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> the summary isn't very good, sigh.
> 
> I'll be rewriting it for SURE.
> 
> Anyway, hello and welcome. My hiatus didn't last long, did it? I've been reading a lot of jongyu since I've been gone because i just love the pairing. This fic has been sat in my hard drive since June so I decided to post it up.
> 
> This fic is set during Juliette era (because it will forever be my fave)
> 
> If you're new to my fics then here's the gist: I use my works as a means to cope with my own depression and the grief of losing jonghyun. If reading about him is too much, please do not force yourself to read my work. however, if you are like me and see fanfiction as a way for jonghyun to get his multitude of happy endings that he deserves then please enjoy :)
> 
> also, don't be afraid to let me know what you think of the fanfic, but please be kind in your criticisms.
> 
> Thank you if you decide to continue reading! I hope you enjoy :)

Everyone knew about Lee Jinki’s predicament. It was usual gossip fodder that bounced around the halls during breaks and between groups of girls in classrooms before, during, and after classes. Lee Jinki was a top tier student, straight A’s, and second in the entire school - he had a bright future and an even brighter smile. He was kind, considerate, and friendly to everyone, and had been voted as class president for two years in a row. He was a shining example of the perfect person but had one very distinct disability. He was unable to say no to anyone who confessed their attraction to him.

And during his second year, Jonghyun had been the unfortunate type to witness nearly every situation with his own eyes, and he chalked it up to his constant skipping class. He shared two classes with Jinki, literature and music, and they were the only classes Jonghyun gave a damn to turn up to. Not because of Jinki, no, but just because he actually enjoyed them. He was a free-spirit who would rather spend a maths class sat on the roof with a cigarette between his lips and a composition notebook in his lap, filled to the brim with poetic music.

Unfortunately, it had been in this scenario where he had witnessed the first of a myriad of mix-ups.

It started in the second year of his school career, during September. Kim Kibum was a transfer student from Daegu and had a thick accent to match. Jinki had been tasked with showing Kibum around the school and be a mentor to help him assimilate into his classes.

Kibum clung to Jinki like any frightened new kid would, they spent every free period together and Kibum even began to hang out at his house for study sessions and it became very clear to everyone but Jinki as to what Kibum’s intentions were. 

Jonghyun had been sat on the rooftop, out of cigarettes and unable to buy more because he hadn’t received any allowance yet, with his composition book open on an old song he had written when he was twelve. He was sat behind the large shed that housed the boiler but he could hear the two voices that emerged through the door as clear as day.

“It’s nice up here, isn’t it, hyung?” Kibum asked. The weather had begun to get colder and Jonghyun was surprised anyone would risk getting sick by being up on the roof. Jonghyun didn’t care much, catching the flu meant he wouldn’t have to go to school.

“Kibum, why did you invite me up here?” Jinki asked, his tone suspicious and Jonghyun realised he might be getting his first glimpse of Jinki’s condition. He scooted a little closer to the edge of the wall and peered round.

Kibum was a pretty boy with dyed blond hair and sharp eyes always accentuated with smudged eyeliner. He was a darer when it came to fashion and often wore bright neon undershirts beneath his school uniform. Why perfect student Jinki hadn’t reprimanded him for it was an utter bewilderment.

“I have something to say,” Kibum said, scratching the back of his head embarrassed and Jonghyun swallowed thickly. Oh, boy. “I like you, hyung.”

As if a cold wind had swept through the school grounds, the reply Jinki had given to him was blown away and Jonghyun had missed everything but judging from the way Kibum clapped his hands in glee and pulled him into a very tight hug, he assumed Jinki had only accepted.

Jonghyun was beyond surprised to say the least, he had heard time and time again and had even heard of first-hand experiences from girls in his class but this was the first time he had actually witnessed such a thing. Jinki never seemed all that interested in anyone, only ever in his schoolwork but he always accepted whenever someone asked him out.

Maybe he just liked to test the waters.

Or maybe he was just too shy to say no.

Maybe he didn’t even know the word no? But, that sounded a little too farfetched to be true.

Jonghyun watched as Jinki and Kibum, holding hands, left the rooftop to grab some lunch and Jonghyun was left alone, jumping when the door slammed shut behind them.

He looked down at his composition notebook, at the flimsy words of a first love and being enchanted by another person and rolled his eyes. He pondered if Jinki knew what love actually felt like.

* * *

It always ended like this: Jinki and his flavour of the month would date for about four weeks before the other person suddenly just got bored and would break up with him. Every time they always said the same thing.

“ _You just weren’t what I expected_.”

Jonghyun had asked a few girls who had previously dated Jinki in the first year as to what they meant by that but even they couldn’t give a straight answer.

“It’s like this,” one explained. “He’s too… attentive.”

“He likes to make sure that the other person is happy and it feels forced,” another said.

“It never feels genuine, like he’s making a mockery of how we feel,” another answered.

Jonghyun had never witnessed a break-up before and thankfully after the ripples of rumours that poured around the gossip pool about Kibum and Jinki breaking up at the school gates just after Christmas, he wouldn’t ever have to.

Until Lee Taemin entered the picture.

Taemin was a special case. He was friends with Kibum, who had miraculously stayed friends with Jinki after the whole debacle, through an out-of-school dance class and had become enamoured with Jinki the first time they met. Apparently, this was common for Taemin, as Jonghyun later found out after eavesdropping to Kibum’s conversation with another student during lunch.

He had managed to catch Taemin’s confession completely by random. It had occurred during his daily walks with Roo. Whilst she ran off to sniff around the hedge that separated two quarters of the park, he took a gander around the pond, that had been abandoned by the ducks and since only housed fish. As he waited for his dog to find a place to squat so they could move on, a squeaking wooden sound came from the other side of the hedge as a couple took a seat on a bench.

“Hyung,” the voice started. It sounded young and elegant and Jonghyun took a quick glance over.

He recognised one head of hair, the brown curly mop of his classmate, Jinki, was unmissable and beside him was a head of curly red hair that barely peeked over the top of the hedge. This, Jonghyun realised, must be Lee Taemin.

“Hyung, I want to thank you for helping me with my English,” Taemin began. He sounded nervous and Jonghyun could hear his feet fidget against the gravel.

“ _No problem_ ,” Jinki replied in cheesy English and Taemin giggled. Jonghyun rolled his eyes. He bent down to take Roo and clipped her leash on, ready to leave but something stopped him.

“I was wondering if you’d like to go out with me some time?”

“Sure, Taemin,” Jinki replied smoothly, as if he had rehearsed this over and over in his head. And perhaps, Jonghyun reasoned, maybe he had.

Taemin squealed happily and wrapped his arms around Jinki’s neck and Jonghyun left the park feeling a little underwhelmed.

To catch one confession was a coincidence and it wasn’t like the student populous didn’t know that the roof was Jonghyun’s hideout spot to break rules and smoke his day away, but a second time in a completely inconspicuous place was just too much to comprehend, clearly something was out to get him.

Jinki and Taemin dated for a month straight, as per the standards, and Jonghyun was decidedly the misfortunate person to witness the break-up. Taemin waited for Jinki out front wearing his middle school uniform with a perturbed face. Jonghyun had been leaving school, his bag slung over his shoulder as he fumbled for his box of cigarettes and lighter.

As he left the gates he caught Taemin’s eye. The kid gave Jonghyun a polite smile and then rocked his weight onto the tips of his toes and back again. Jonghyun rested up against the brickwork and lit his cigarette. The bus stop was across the street and he knew he had about fifteen minutes to kill before the bus to his apartment would arrive. He didn’t quite understand the consequences of his actions until Jinki appeared looking flustered.

“Taemin, I hope you haven’t been waiting long,” Jinki said, running a hand through that mop of curls.

“Not at all, hyung,” Taemin replied with a tense smile. Jonghyun watched from his periphery as Taemin handed over a plastic bag.

“What’s this?” Jinki asked, taking it.

“It’s your hoodie. I want to break-up, hyung. You weren’t what I expected you to be,” Taemin replied and Jonghyun dropped his cigarette in surprise. Taemin then got onto his tiptoes and pressed a delicate kiss to Jinki’s cheek and walked away – no, skipped away from the high school.

Jinki stared at the hoodie, folded neatly in the plastic bag, and sighed. He then looked up and caught Jonghyun’s eye in the same way Taemin had earlier.

Jonghyun immediately kicked himself away from the wall, stamped out his cigarette, and walked over to the bus, trying to forget what he had just witnessed.

Jinki’s reaction was unusual for someone who had just been broken up with, but then, Jonghyun supposed, if that was all you ever heard, surely you get desensitised to it.

What a lonely existence, Jonghyun decided as he rode the bus home.

* * *

Choi Minho was the star of the football team; handsome, athletic, hardworking, and smart. He was everything Jonghyun wasn’t and yet the two had wound up being the best of friends since the start of middle school. Minho chalked it up to Jonghyun’s misunderstood soft-heart (“Seriously, hyung, if people knew how kind you were you would have a tonne of friends.”) and Jonghyun just figured it was because they had both been skipping the physical exam of the new year and had ended up becoming friends just by conversation alone.

Minho was a quiet guy, reserved about everything but his studies and his love of football. So, Jonghyun’s surprise when Minho confessed one day on the rooftop during lunch that he had developed a crush on Lee Jinki was unprecedented.

“Lee Jinki? As in my classmate Lee Jinki?” Jonghyun questioned.

“Yes,” Minho answered with a wistful smile.

Jonghyun shook his head. If he were smarter he’d warn Minho to not go through with it, but then again, knowing Jinki’s track record, it wouldn’t end that badly anyway. At least, not for Minho.

Minho confessed a week later and Jonghyun had, unsurprisingly caught everything yet again.

The only way he had discovered this was happening during a conversation between a group of girls at the end of his literature class. He hadn’t realised Jinki had been missing until his name was mentioned.

“I hear Jinki-oppa’s going to get confessed to again today,” one of the girls said to her two friends. Jonghyun sat back in his chair and ruffled his brunet hair, blowing a bubble with his gum. He tried to look uninterested but honestly, he was just as interested in Jinki as anyone else was.

“Oh, how exciting! I wonder if this one will last.”

Jonghyun snorted. Not likely, given his reputation.

“Do you have any idea who it is?” One of the other girls asked. She leant up against the window, nudging Jonghyun’s chair slightly. He shifted in his seat, weighing up the options of turning to glare at the girl or let it go. He chose to let it go.

“A friend of a friend said she saw Choi Minho put the letter in his locker today.”

“Minho? The football captain?” Jonghyun questioned out loud. The deafening silence from the table gave him reason to believe he’d been heard. He cleared his throat and suddenly got up from his desk. He had better things to do than listen that drivel, anyway.

As he walked down the corridor, heading for the roof, he saw Jinki stood in the courtyard, bathed in sunlight. His highlighted curly brown hair looked almost golden in the light. Jonghyun watched, his pace slowing as Jinki looked around, clutching a bright pink envelope. Oh, gross, he had no idea Minho was a romantic. Or, maybe he had stolen his sister’s stationary _again_. 

Without realising what he had done, Jonghyun had come to a complete stop and was watching Jinki openly in the hallway, leant up against the windowsill with vague interest. From the corner where the trees the first years had planted at the start of spring a shadow emerged followed by a tall body with long black hair.

Minho.

Well, shit. Jonghyun blew another bubble and popped it with his finger. He continued to watch as Minho approached Jinki with a shy demeanour. He made a few short gestures between himself and the older student and Jonghyun watched, forgetting about his gum, as Jinki bowed his head and then nodded a few times.

And that was the third and last time Jonghyun had witnessed Jinki’s incurable condition. As he watched his best friend and the class president chat amicably, no doubt about summer plans, the bell began to ring and it was as if a pause button had been reset. The school came back to life as students filtered in and out of the door. Jinki and Minho walked into the building together, arms bumping and there was a ferocious feeling in the pit of Jonghyun’s stomach as he watched them disappear into the sea of students.

With a wry smile, Jonghyun started the countdown.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Just as Jonghyun predicted, it happened like clockwork. Minho broke up with Jinki a month later. It happened toward the end of the school year, in front of the entire student body. Minho said that distinct phrase and then as if a spell had been broken, the crowd and Minho dispersed, leaving Jinki alone in the courtyard.

Jonghyun happened to be walking by at the time, unfortunately, carrying a bin for his teacher having been part of the clean-up crew that day. His eyes caught hold of Jinki, who was standing alone, head hung low, and his pace slowed considerably. He set aside the bin and walked over.

“Jinki, are you okay?” Jonghyun asked, placing a hand on his shoulder. Jinki immediately looked up at Jonghyun in alarm. His eyes were red and he had those tracks of stray tears marring his clean skin. Jonghyun took a step back in surprise.

“Ah, sorry, Jonghyun,” Jinki said, wiping his eyes with the back of his arm.

“You know my name?” Jonghyun asked, perplexed.

“Of course I do. You’re in my music class, you play the guitar.”

Jonghyun had to admit, that made him feel a little put out. He’d been watching Jinki for so long and had assumed himself to be a wallflower in his own classrooms - why would someone as great as Jinki even know him, let alone recognise him by face and name? “Ah… Yeah…”

“Sorry, I’m just… tired,” Jinki admitted, sniffling. “You’d think after five years, I’d be used to it.” He laughed dryly and choked on another sob.

“Jinki, I…” _I don’t know what to say_ , Jonghyun thought. Jinki was crying again, wiping away his tears in a futile attempt to appear put together.

“I just… I think I might be cursed,” Jinki then said suddenly, looking up to the clear blue sky. “Do you think I’m cursed?”

Jonghyun shrugged. “You might be unlucky, but I don’t think curses exist.”

Jinki snorted and for the first time since he had known Jinki at the start of his high school career, the class president appeared normal and approachable. “Maybe you’re right.” Jinki then looked over the waste bin sitting off to the side. “Do you need some help with that?”

Jonghyun glanced over his shoulder and waved it off. “Nah, I can handle it.” He reached over and squeezed Jinki’s shoulder gently. “You’re going to be fine; none of this will matter come the summer.”

“Yeah,” Jinki agreed. “Yeah.”

He then turned on his heel and walked back into the school building, Jonghyun watching him with sad eyes. His shoulders were slumped, hands stuffed into his trouser pockets. Jinki always seemed to have a smart head on his shoulders; he didn’t seem like the type to believe in the supernatural, so why did he think that he would be cursed.

And then, as if on cue, Jinki tripped over his own feet and fell to his knees. His head hung low and Jonghyun heard the hiss of his voice crying: “Dammit.”

“Do you need some help, Jinki?” Jonghyun asked, making his way over but Jinki picked himself up easily and waved Jonghyun away before disappearing behind the green double doors. Jonghyun chewed on the inside of his cheek before kicking one foot in the air and spinning around to make his way back to the bin. He picked it up and carried it away, whistling as he did.

* * *

It truly did seem like a lonely existence, Jonghyun believed as he sat on the school roof later that day. He was skipping geography this time. The door to the roof opened and Minho poked his head around the wall.

“Sup, hyung,” he greeted with a fun smile before taking his spot on the ground next to Jonghyun. “What are you skipping this time?”

“Geography. You?” Jonghyun asked as he fiddled around in his blazer for a box of cigarettes. He found it and pulled it out. Damn, he only had one left. Never the less, he put it to his mouth and scrounged around for his lighter.

“English,” Minho replied and Jonghyun had forgotten he’d even asked Minho a question. Jonghyun found his lighter and brought the flickering flame to the end of his cigarette. He watched as the end fizzled and began to burn, smoke pluming to the sky. “You shouldn’t smoke, it’s bad for your health,” Minho then said, reaching for the cigarette.

Jonghyun swerved his head and smacked Minho’s hand away. “Fuck off, dude. I’m your elder in case you forgot.” Minho shook his head and retracted his hand but not his statement. “So, what happened with you and Jinki?”

Minho shrugged, nonchalant. “He just wasn’t what I expected.”

“Come off it,” Jonghyun said, shoving Minho gently. His friend allowed himself to fall over from the weight of Jonghyun’s force, laughing as he pulled himself back up. “You don’t have to say that garbage with me, y’know.”

“That’s the thing,” Minho said wistfully. “It’s not garbage. He genuinely just wasn’t what I expected.”

“Was he a pervert?” Jonghyun asked, mildly interested now. Minho didn’t exactly have a type and to be honest, he hadn’t anticipated Jinki even being on the list of people Minho would even think about dating.

“No way!” Minho laughed, staring at Jonghyun as if he had grown a second head. Jonghyun pouted and took a thoughtful drag on his cigarette.

“So, what was it?”

“That’s the thing,” Minho said again and Jonghyun was starting to get sick of Minho’s false wisdom. “I can’t really explain it.”

“You’re only fifteen,” Jonghyun then said, taking another drag on his cigarette. “I think you’ve been watching too many of your sister’s dramas again.”

“Oh, shut up,” Minho said.

“That’s no way to talk to your elders!” Jonghyun shouted playfully, shoving Minho again. This time, his best friend retaliated, shoving him twice as hard. Jonghyun laughed softly and leaned back against the wall, tipping his head back to look at the sky. “I wonder if he really is cursed then.”

“What?” Minho asked.

“Nothing,” Jonghyun said, shaking his head. He stamped out his cigarette and stood up, brushing himself down. “I’m going to get some juice boxes, want one?”

“Apple, please,” Minho responded and Jonghyun strode over Minho’s long legs and disappeared behind the door. The school was empty, just as lifeless as Jonghyun liked it. Classes were in session and he could hear the robotic drone of teachers lecturing their students as he walked past each room. Juice boxes were kept in a vending machine down the west wing, where coincidentally his geography classroom was situated.

Carefully he walked past and sauntered to the vending machine, rolling in a few coins and watching as an apple and an orange juice fell down from their respected places. He grabbed both and turned around.

Behind him with an unimpressed look on his face was Kim Kibum, Jinki’s ex-boyfriend.

“Oh, hey,” Jonghyun said awkwardly. Kibum didn’t know that Jonghyun knew the fundamentals of his relationship with Jinki.

“Are you gonna move?” He asked with a thick accent and Jonghyun side stepped almost immediately. Kibum stepped up to the vending machine and rolled his own coins in. “Want something?” He then asked, glaring over at Jonghyun.

“Oh, no,” Jonghyun said. Kibum wasn’t that much taller than him but he had the attitude of a cat getting ready for a fight to the death. He had a sharp tongue, even sharper wit, and like a cowardly dog, Jonghyun turned and walked away from Kibum.

* * *

His last class of the day was literature and Jonghyun always psyched himself up to face the surprised look of his classmates as he walked in. As he predicted, the moment he stepped through the doors the murmur of gossip and rumours faded away until it was small ripple against the flow of conversation. A few classmates looked up and smirked knowingly, and others rolled their eyes, watching him as he waltzed over to his desk and sank into his seat.

He pulled out a stick of gum from his blazer pocket and mushed between his lips, chewing loudly, as he kept a steady gaze on the third table in the middle row – the place where Jinki always sat.

From behind, he heard a chair scrape against the tiled floor and then a light tap was felt against his shoulder. “Jonghyun,” a girl’s voice came up. “You’re friends with Minho-ssi,” a statement more than a question, “what did he say about Jinki?”

Jonghyun shrugged a shoulder. Even after returning with Minho’s apple juice, his friend had remained tight-lipped about anything else and even as Jonghyun tried to prod some answers out of him, he stayed vague and continuously changed the subject.

“Ah,” the girl said in defeat, slinking back into her seat and becoming silent. Jonghyun took a moment to glance out of the window, watching as a flock of birds took flight from the roof and blocked out the sun. One month left, Jonghyun counted. One month until the end of school. The end of the second year.

His eyes flickered over to Jinki’s desk and his eyebrows shot up in surprise when he found it occupied. Jinki was laughing with a few of his friends, eyes and nose crinkling up in joy. When had he even gotten into the classroom? Why didn’t Jonghyun notice?

And why did he care so much?

Jinki must’ve felt Jonghyun’s eyes on his back because his laughter ceased as he glanced over his shoulder towards him. He gave him a small smile and wave, something Jonghyun acknowledged but didn’t respond to. He was a completely different person compared to the side Jonghyun had seen only a couple of hours ago. Somehow, Jonghyun could feel a flutter of something unusual in the pit of his stomach, but it only lasted a moment.

The front door opened and the teacher stepped in carrying her text book and multiple folders. She dumped them on her desk at the front of the classroom and cleared her throat once, and then twice. Students filtered back to their seats but Jonghyun kept his eyes trained on Jinki for a little while longer.

“I know you’re all excited because the weather’s getting warmer and your second year is nearly finished,” she said, grabbing a piece of chalk and turning to the board. “But, don’t forget, your third year will be your toughest year yet. With college entrance exams being the top of your priority.”

 _Not for me_ , Jonghyun thought with a smug smirk.

“So,” the teacher continued, eyes scanning over the classroom. She lingered over Jonghyun for a second before passing over him. “You’ll need to get ready to buckle down and study hard.” She then turned to the blackboard and wrote down the list of books she expected them to read over the month and into the summer.

Jonghyun scribbled them down in his barely touched notebook and made a mental note to visit a bookshop later in the week.

Class then commenced as usual and like a light switch, Jonghyun turned into a hard-working student for the full hour. He read out passages when prompted and gave clear and concise answers. Before he knew it, the hour was up and the teacher was dismissing everyone, wishing departing students a safe weekend and staying behind to discuss the books she had listed with a few confused students.

Jinki was beginning to pack his books away into his satchel, talking to the girl who had been sitting behind Jonghyun for the whole of the class. She tucked a strand of straight black hair behind her ear as she spoke to him, polite and sweet. Jonghyun could tell she seemed interested from the way she giggled slightly under her breath and the way her hand lingered on his shoulder when he explained something to her.

And that’s when it hit Jonghyun. What if Jinki wasn’t cursed but rather all the people he dated had put some pressure on him because they had major expectations. Didn’t you always have expectations on a person you were attracted to? The person you like and have an image of in your head is always dramatically different to the person you actually come to know.

What if Jinki didn’t have that pressure? What if Jinki could date someone who didn’t have any expectations?

What if, Jonghyun thought, Jinki dated him instead?

It sounded stupid in his head and he was sure he could hear Minho laughing at his reasoning but it drove him to get up from his seat and walk over to Jinki’s desk.

Jinki looked up, crinkled smile and half-moon eyes, and Jonghyun felt nervous all of a sudden.

“What’s up, Jonghyun?” He asked and Jonghyun almost backed out.

 _What do you use on your hair to get it that curly_? Jonghyun scratched the back of his nape and said: “I was just wondering. Go out with me, maybe?”

Jinki’s eyes widened considerably and his bottom lip quivered. “Are you joking?”

Jonghyun wanted to nod, yes, he was joking but instead he shook his head. No, no, he wasn’t. “Nope. Will you go out with me some time?”

Jinki sighed heavily. “Sure,” he said with a heavy heart. “Let me just give you my phone number.” He then began to rifle through his satchel to look for his phone and Jonghyun ran a hand through his hair, unsure as to what just occurred. Had he really just asked Lee Jinki, second in the whole school, class president, toted to enter SNU on recommendation alone, out?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you can follow me on twitter:
> 
> @jjong_bluenight
> 
> thanks for all the support thus far, I hope you enjoyed this chapter <3


	3. Chapter 3

“Um, Jonghyun?” Jinki asked after a few minutes of awkward silence. Jonghyun blinked hard, breaking out of his daydream and glanced over to Jinki, who was now holding his mobile phone, a small charm of a bunny eating a carrot dangled from the top.

 _How charming_ , Jonghyun thought, _I wonder which of his dates gave that to him_.

“I thought we were going to exchange numbers.”

“Oh, right, yeah,” Jonghyun said, pulling his own phone out from his back pocket. As he did so, his lighter tipped out and clattered to the tiled floor. Jinki’s eyes trailed from Jonghyun’s phone to the lighter and then back up to Jonghyun’s face and Jonghyun could feel the judgement seeping into his skin.

“You smoke?” Jinki asked, wrinkling his nose slightly.

“Uh… Yeah…” Jonghyun muttered, scratching at his jaw before bending down and stuffing the lighter back into his pocket. He then quickly traded numbers with Jinki and as he pressed accept, things felt strangely… official between them.

“Are you busy now?” Jinki then asked suddenly, standing up and hitching the strap of his satchel over his shoulder.

“No,” Jonghyun said.

“Do you mind if I walk you home then?”

It was as if the girl he had been talking to just minutes ago no longer existed to him. She had left the moment Jonghyun asked Jinki out but he didn’t even bother to check if she were there. It was as if all of his energy and attention belonged to Jonghyun and it made him feel almost powerful.

Not wanting to seem eager, or drunk on his new found power, Jonghyun simply shrugged a shoulder. “Sure. I don’t mind.” He walked back to his desk and grabbed his own backpack and together they walked out of the classroom, keeping a few inches distance between them.

“Where do you live?” Jinki asked as they left the school gates, feeling the freedom of summer rain down on them. For two days there were no more early starts, no more school bells to tell them what to do. No, their time was theirs to use appropriately and Jonghyun didn’t quite know what he should waste his time with first.

“Ihwa-dong,” Jonghyun replied breezily. He threw his arms up in the air to stretch and then rested his hands on his neck. “It’s a while to walk so usually I take the bus.”

Jinki pursed his lips slightly, seemingly regretting his decision before he smiled and laughed to himself. Jonghyun lowered his arms, letting them drop to his side and stared at Jinki in surprise. He’d seen a few different sides of Jinki today, but this was the one that actually had him curious for the real Jinki.

“Wanna walk or take the bus then?” Jinki asked, stopping at the crosswalk. Jonghyun looked across the street to see the bus he would usually take resting and waiting at the stop.

If they took the bus they’d have less time to talk than if they walked, but it wouldn’t take as long and maybe Jinki would be able to get to his own home before dusk actually fell. “The bus,” Jonghyun decided and the two crossed the street quickly and jumped onto the bus, throwing up their student passes to the driver before making their way over to the back.

Jonghyun took a seat by the window and Jinki took the seat beside him, dumping his bag onto his lap.

It felt odd this time, Jonghyun thought, he was used to seeing Jinki as he looked out of the window on his way home, like the time he broke up with Taemin, but now the school gates were empty and there was unfamiliar warmth by his side.

“Do you have any plans tomorrow?” Jinki asked. Usually with the start of the weekend Jonghyun preferred to stay up until 4am, writing and composing something or other and then crawl into bed as the sun began to rise. He would typically end up sleeping until the afternoon because of this.

“Nope!” Jonghyun said and Jinki smiled.

“My friend has a basketball game tomorrow and he wants me to come along. He also said to bring along anyone if I was dating someone at the time.”

“He must expect it then,” Jonghyun teased.

Jinki’s smile disappeared and he looked down at his bag. Jonghyun immediately wanted to take back his words. “Yeah,” Jinki said softly, head still hung low.

Such a lonely existence, Jonghyun thought as he watched Jinki’s soft brunet curls bounce with each jerk of the bus as it pulled away from the stop and towards Jonghyun’s street.

* * *

Jonghyun could feel Minho’s presence like a sixth sense. He had lost count of the amount of times Minho had broken into his room and began to play on his X-box, growing bored of waiting for Jonghyun to come home. Jonghyun had quickly solved the mystery by looking for the tell-tale marks of the gravel below the window being shuffled around and his window left wide open, but today, everything seemed to be in place.

“Well, this is me,” Jonghyun said, gesturing to the small semi-detached house. “Thanks for walking me home.”

“No problem,” Jinki smiled. “Don’t forget about tomorrow,” he said.

“I won’t. Scouts promise,” Jonghyun said, holding two fingers up with a closed-off grin. Jinki chuckled, hiding his big grin behind his hand. “See you later.”

“See you,” Jinki said, lingering in his steps slightly as Jonghyun turned to go to his door. When he looked back, Jinki had only just begun to walk away, a slight skip to his step. He was honestly full of surprises, Jonghyun thought, shaking his head gently. He stopped himself as he toed his shoes off. How could Jinki be full of surprises when he wasn’t expecting anything of him?

That’s right, Jonghyun said to himself. There are no expectations so therefore no surprises.

Roo waddled up to meet him at the front door, wagging her skinny tail lazily. Her pink tongue hung out of her mouth as she panted from the heat and Jonghyun bent down to muss her fur and kiss her on her wet, black nose. He put his shoes aside and made his way upstairs, hearing the usual heavy padding of Roo’s paws against the stairs behind him.

“You’re dating Jinki-hyung,” Minho said, more of a statement than a question, the moment Jonghyun opened his door. In his hand he held a brand new copy of Fifa.

“How did you…” Jonghyun dropped his bag to the floor and stared at his best friend in mild disbelief, but he was still somewhat impressed. How Minho managed to sneak across the street and climb into his bedroom without being heard by either Jonghyun or Roo was a feat that only a true athlete could achieve.

“I saw him walking you home. That’s stage one,” he held up his index finger, “of dating Lee Jinki.” Minho paused for thought. “So, what, are you gay now?”

“Maybe I am,” Jonghyun said, sticking his tongue out. “What about you, you went out with him first. Are you gay too?”

Minho hummed, jumping down from the windowsill and bounded across the room to Jonghyun’s X-box, where he switched it on. “And if I were gay?” He challenged.

“Congratulations,” Jonghyun said with sarcastic twist, throwing his backpack onto his bed. “Maybe I’m gay too.”

“I think you’d know by now,” Minho snorted.

Jonghyun scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Not always, Minho. Sometimes it takes forever for people to know, sometimes they never figure it out and don’t you think that’s sad?”

Minho shrugged. “Yeah, but I don’t think you’re that type. Anyway, you never seemed interested in guys… That’s why I’m asking.”

Jonghyun shrugged. “I guess I just never really thought about it.” And why would he? It’s not like he hadn’t heard the worst of the worst from his father and a few of his peers in music class. He heard the nastiest words and slurs thrown at Jinki behind his back when he started dating Kibum, and it only got worse with each guy he dated. Minho also got the brunt of the backhanded insults from his own teammates and even though he didn’t say anything, Jonghyun knew it had scarred him deeply.

Minho looked at Jonghyun carefully. “Why are you doing this?” He then asked. “Do you feel sorry for him or something?”

“A little,” Jonghyun confessed. “But, honestly, I’m doing it to help him.”

“You’re a gross liar,” Minho shot back as he then threw a controller to Jonghyun. He jumped onto the bed and wiggled around to find a comfortable spot. “But, if you think leading the poor guy along with help him…”

“I’m not leading him along,” Jonghyun said. “My theory is that the reason why it never works out with Jinki and anyone else is because they’re attracted to him in some way. I don’t like Jinki that way so it takes away the pressure of living up to unnecessary expectations.”

Minho didn’t say anything further as he and Jonghyun picked their teams for a friendly match. The whistle blew and the virtual ball began to roll across the vividly green grass, in Minho’s favour.

And then, as if trying to distract Jonghyun, Minho spoke up: “What will you do if you actually do end up falling for him?”

“I won’t. Simple as that,” Jonghyun said, trying to steal the ball from Minho’s player.

But then Minho scored his first of many goals and Jonghyun nearly gave up, wanting to throw his controller across the room.

* * *

Jinki’s friend was a student of a high school a district away from their own. It was a school in the heart of the Mapo district and Jonghyun had to take an over-ground train and a bus to get to it. He could feel the eyes of some of the students from the high school watch him as he climbed onto the only bus that actually stopped outside the high school. A few girls giggled to themselves as he walked past.

He wondered if Jinki was already there and then sulked, wondering why he didn’t offer to walk him to the school.

 _Why do you even care if he walks you? I thought you weren’t interested in him_ , he could hear Minho say in the back of his mind and truthfully, he didn’t care… Okay, maybe he did, but not for the reasons people would think. Jonghyun was a shy person when he wasn’t around his friends, strangers intimidated him and being around Jinki would make him feel more at ease.

When the bus stopped outside the school, all the students filtered off and Jonghyun followed after them, sticking out like a sore thumb in his white t-shirt and dark wash jeans. Jinki was waiting at the school gate, talking to a boy about his height with long sandy blond hair and a kind, round face.

“Jonghyun!” Jinki shouted, waving rapidly when he noticed Jonghyun through the wave of identical students. His friend turned around too and gave Jonghyun a quick once over before moving a little closer to Jinki, wrapping his arm around his waist, to whisper something in his ear.

Jinki then laughed, mouth hidden behind his hand, and shoved his friend gently with a soft shake of his head. Jonghyun continued forward, feeling the spotlight on him grow brighter and brighter the closer he got. When he arrived he noticed that Jinki’s friend still had a hand around Jinki’s slight waist. It shouldn’t have left Jonghyun feeling that familiar sensation of burning jealousy in the pit of his stomach, but somehow it did.

“Jonghyun, this is my best friend, Joon. Joon, this is Jonghyun, my…” Jinki trailed off, chewing on his lower lip in thought and before Jonghyun could introduce himself properly for Jinki, Joon did the job.

“Latest romance?” Joon offered as consolation and Jinki, once again, shoved his friend gently.

“Don’t be rude,” Jinki said, his smile only fading ever so slightly, but it was a noticeable difference to the way Jinki had acted the day before when Jonghyun had brought it up.

“So, you nervous about your big game?” Jonghyun asked Joon, trying to make polite conversation.

“Oh yeah, but now that Jinx is here, I’ll know I’ll do well,” Joon said with a compassionate smile. Jonghyun watched as Jinki’s teeth sunk into his lower lip.

“You always say that, and that’s not always true,” Jinki said.

Joon shrugged, still not letting go of Jinki’s waist. “You think what you want to think. Anyway, I better go inside and get some practise in. Nice to meet you Jongdong.”

“Jong _hyun_!” Jonghyun corrected Joon but it was too late as he was sprinting across the sports hall. “Nice guy,” he said sarcastically.

Jinki didn’t say anything, instead, circling his hand around Jonghyun’s wrist. “Let’s go get some good seats. Joonie has a lot of fangirls.”

Joonie? Jonghyun questioned, balking at the cutesy nickname. However, he let himself get dragged along like a dog on a leash to the sports hall and when Jinki chose a front bench to get a better look, he didn’t even argue.

Mainly because Joon’s attitude at the gate had rubbed him the wrong way but he couldn’t figure out why.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh oh, looks like trouble!
> 
> you can follow me on twitter if you'd like:  
> @jjong_bluemoon
> 
> Thanks so much for the comments and kudos. It's awesome to know people are enjoying this. <3


	4. Chapter 4

“So, what position does your friend play?” Jonghyun asked as he and Jinki took a centre bench, right at the front. Jonghyun toed against the white painted line of the court.

“He’s a point guard,” Jinki commented, glancing over at Jonghyun. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” Jonghyun asked, shrugging his shoulders. He kept a careful eye on his sneakers, tiptoeing to the white line and then over, and then back on it. A group of girls walked past, swerving around his outstretched leg, and for a second Jonghyun’s eyes trailed upwards before diverting his gaze. He didn’t feel like ogling at girls right now.

“You just seem… bored,” Jinki said, tucking his legs in tightly. “Did you not want to come?”

Jonghyun shook his head. “It’s just… I don’t know anything about basketball or sports in general. You could ask me what team Minho’s on and-“ Jinki’s eyes lowered a little at the mention of his ex’s name and Jonghyun bit his lip. “Sorry, is that a sore subject?”

“Not really,” Jinki said, scratching at his hair. “I forgot you were friends with him.” It lingered between them for a moment and Jonghyun wanted to wave it away, have it leave their vicinity so they could start afresh but they had two years between them already, there were no real new beginnings at this point. Only new changes.

The door to the locker room swung open and out came Joon’s team, dressed in garish yellow and blue uniforms, their shorts shiny and their vests loose and flowy. Joon waved towards the crowds as they cheered his name, and then his gaze turned to Jinki and he winked.

Jonghyun bristled and Jinki waved back with enthusiasm. “What a show off,” Jonghyun muttered and he felt Jinki’s arm drop beside him. Felt Jinki’s eyes lay on him. And he didn’t bother taking back his words.

The rival team entered too, the opposite side of the hall cheering for them with as much vigour as the home-team had received. They made their way to the centre of the court and Jonghyun pulled his leg away, tucking them under the bench as the referee blew the whistle and the game began.

“Come on, Joonie!” Jinki cheered, cupping his mouth with his hands and clapping whenever Joon did something right – made a pass or something, Jonghyun couldn’t be too sure. Try as he might, his eyes travelled from the orange ball to Joon’s face and then over to Jinki’s intense gaze on the court.

He had seen Jinki from afar so many times, watching him as he sang opera during choir practise in their first year, and when he played the piano during music class in the second. He would watch him during literature too, curious to see if there was something fundamentally wrong with someone who seemed to have everything so right. It never made sense in Jonghyun’s head. Was he really as different as he put on? What kind of expectations did people have on him?

His eyes trailed over Jinki’s soft, curly brown hair, shaggy waves that sometimes covered his eyes as he spoke. His eyes lingered over Jinki’s jaw and nose, the barely noticeable under-bite where his bottom lip jutted out just a tiny bit, and then there was a dark mole on the right side of his jaw, just under the dip of his chin.

“What’s up?” Jinki asked, glancing over at Jonghyun, rubbing at his jawline. “Is there something on my face?”

“No,” Jonghyun replied, feeling awkward at being caught staring. He turned his gaze back to the court and listened as the orange ball bounced with an echo against the hardwood. He listened as it swooped through the air and fell through the hoop. And then, Jinki and a few of Joon’s school mates stood up and cheered.

Jonghyun watched as Joon blew a kiss to his fans, Jinki included, and then he couldn’t watch anymore and began to count the eyelets on his sneakers over and over again until the whistle blew and the game was over.

“Wow, that was awesome,” Jinki said, standing up and stretching. He turned to Jonghyun. “Want to get something to eat? I think there’s a McDonald’s down the street.”

“Sure,” Jonghyun said, looking up for the first time in a while. Jinki was grinning, red in the face, and almost breathless. Had there been other times Joon’s team had won and he had managed to block out the sound?

“Hey, wait up!” They heard as they made for the door to the outside world. So close, Jonghyun sighed. Joon ran over to them, glistening and sticky with sweat. His hair was damp and flat against his face. “Where are you off to, Jinx?”

“Going to get some food,” Jinki replied, gesturing to Jonghyun.

“Can I come with? To celebrate our win.”

Jonghyun could feel Jinki’s eyes read him for a second and he hoped he could read the big fat _NO_ blaring over his head in bold red. “Sure,” Jinki said instead and Jonghyun sighed, pushing the door open and walking out into the sunlight.

* * *

Jonghyun was blocking out Joon’s tirade of how his team scored the winning basket, ending the game for good. Jinki was hanging onto his every word, burger still half-wrapped in his hand as Jonghyun chewed on his French fries, as if he hadn’t been witness to the extravagant event. Jonghyun wondered if Jinki did this to every person he dated, wondered if he maintained a solid distance whilst distracting himself with Joon, his best friend who seemed to do everything for Jinki.

Maybe that was it, Jonghyun mused as he dipped another French fry into some ketchup and shoved it into his mouth. Maybe Jinki was such a bad boyfriend because he couldn’t date the person he really wanted to. He couldn’t date Joon.

He then heard a noise that sounded a lot like Jinki’s voice and when he looked up, he realised it was Jinki’s actual voice talking to him.

“Sorry,” Jonghyun said, leaning back in the padded booth. “What did you say?”

“Joon asked if you played any sports.” Jinki repeated, seemingly unaffected by Jonghyun’s distance.

“No,” Jonghyun shook his head. “I told you I know next to nothing.”

Jinki laughed then. “Oh, yeah, that’s right.”

Jonghyun didn’t know if he should be offended that Jinki forgot something he was told only an hour ago or just ignore the burning in his stomach. He watched as Joon leant back in the booth too, swinging one arm behind Jinki as he finished off his soda. “What about you?” Jonghyun then asked.

“I do kendo,” Jinki replied, actually unwrapping his burger and taking a bite. “Since middle school,” he said with a full mouth.

Jonghyun didn’t actually know that. He couldn’t imagine Jinki, in his clumsy feet and hands, holding a bamboo sword and yelling out graceful phrases as he tactfully hit his opponent. It just didn’t fit. “Kendo? That’s pretty cool.”

Jinki lowered his head and smiled. “Thanks.”

Jonghyun then felt Joon’s eyes wander over him and he glared over at the intruder. He found himself in a staring competition with Joon as Jinki finished his burger off. Joon’s eyes narrowed considerably as he slowly sucked on his straw until all of the sofa was gone and he was left with the obnoxious noise of emptiness. He shook the cup a little to hear the ice rattle and then dumped it on his tray.

“Thanks for the meal, Jinx,” Joon said, ruffling Jinki’s brunet hair. “I have to get going now. I have a date to get to. See you around, Jongdong.”

Jonghyun had a feeling Joon knew he wasn’t going to be around for long, and maybe that was why he didn’t bother to learn his name and Jonghyun couldn’t find the fight in him to actually correct this time either. Joon left as abruptly as he entered and it was just Jonghyun and Jinki sat in a padded booth surrounded in wrappers and empty soda cups.

“So, where now?” Jonghyun asked, playing with the paper wrapper from a used straw. Jinki shrugged.

“Want to go for a bike ride?”

“I…” Jonghyun scratched at his own hair, feeling the crusty gel he had put in it this morning crumble on his fingers. He rubbed his hands on his t-shirt. “I can’t ride a bike.”

Jinki’s eyes nearly bulged out of his head in surprise. He spat coke across the table. “You can’t ride a bike!?”

Jonghyun shook his head. He had dealt with worse coming from his peers and he fully expected Jinki to laugh at him because what sixteen year old doesn’t know how to ride a bike? It was a rite of passage for leaving childhood. However, Jinki decidedly didn’t laugh.

“Want me to teach you?” Jinki offered, wiping up his spillage.

“You want to teach me how to ride a bike?” Jonghyun asked.

“Sure. Unless you have something else to do today?”

Seeing as he was up five hours earlier than usual, he was probably going to take a nap when he got home and then play some more Fifa with Minho, or walk Roo.

Walk Roo.

“I was going to walk my dog, Roo. Do you want to meet her?”

Jinki paused his movements and looked at Jonghyun carefully. “Instead of learning how to ride a bike you want to walk your dog.”

“Yes.”

“Sure, that sounds fun,” Jinki then said, throwing the wet napkin onto the tray and picking it up. He dumped his, Jonghyun’s, and Joon’s rubbish in the bin and the two walked out of the joint as quickly as possible, making for the next bus that would take them to Jonghyun’s house.

* * *

Roo was an overly friendly dog. She would bounce around with any new people she met, as long as she was with someone she trusted. The moment Jonghyun brought her out of the house to meet Jinki, she immediately wrapped herself around his legs. Jinki wobbled to and fro before nearly toppling over. Jonghyun managed to catch him, holding him by his upper arms and he caught a sniff of Jinki’s scent. Either his clothes smelled like musk, or it was the cologne he was wearing. Either way it smelled really nice and Jonghyun closed his eyes as he enjoyed it.

“You can let me go,” Jinki said after an awkward moment. Roo had untangled herself from his legs and was now sitting on the floor, tail wagging, as she stared up at Jonghyun with tilted head. Jonghyun glanced across to Minho’s house and watched as the blinds shifted.

Suspicious. He’ll have to get Minho back for that later.

Jinki’s face was a vivid scarlet shade when Jonghyun let go of him. “What cologne do you use?” Jonghyun then asked, trying to diffuse the atmosphere.

“Oh, it’s my dad’s…” Jinki commented, scratching at his upper arm. “I don’t know what it’s called.”

“It smells really nice,” Jonghyun said and Jinki accepted the compliment with a bright smile. “Right, so the park I take her to is around the corner.” He began to lead the way before realising that Jinki _knew_ where the park actually was, because he had been there before. “Actually, you know where it is.”

“I do?” Jinki asked with a crumpled nose.

“Yeah, you and…” Jonghyun stopped himself. He couldn’t reveal that he had overheard Taemin’s confession to him months and months ago, it would make everything even more uncomfortable.

“Me and?” Jinki prompted, walking with his hands behind his back. He bowed down to glance at Jonghyun’s face with a wide grin. “What were you going to say?”

“It doesn’t matter, I’m thinking of someone else,” Jonghyun said rapidly. Jinki blinked at him before shrugging. They walked in tandem with Roo’s little trots and as they entered the park, Jinki looked around for a long moment, recognising little things like where the trees bowed, leaves tickling your skin, where the benches were put to face the pond, and where the flowers were tended to every day by the mysterious park keeper who no one ever saw and only ever remained an enigma during the night.

Jonghyun bent down and let Roo off her leash, watching as her fat little body wiggled around excitably, tail raised in the air as it wagged uncontrollably.

“She’s cute,” Jinki said as he joined Jonghyun a minute later.

“What were you looking at back there?”

“The trees,” Jinki said softly. “I thought… I’ve been here before.”

Jonghyun glanced over at Jinki for a long moment, watching how his eyes became unfocused when they landed on the very bench where Taemin had confessed to him.

“But, with you it’s different,” Jinki then said, breaking his focus on the bench to look at Jonghyun. Jonghyun met his eyes and smiled his trademark lopsided grin.

“Is that a good thing?”

“Yeah,” Jinki said with a sharp nod. “Definitely a good thing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first: wow! I'm amazed at the amount of comments and kudos I got from the previous chapter. thank you all so much for that. it made my week feel extra special <3
> 
> second: you can follow me on twitter @jjong_bluemoon. you can talk to me on there, i have a link to my curiouscat if you wanna ask me any questions about any fic (really, any fic!) or just to have a chat <3
> 
> Thanks again for all the comments and kudos, you guys are so awesome! i hope you enjoyed this chapter and i shall see you all next week <3


	5. Chapter 5

Minho’s mother must’ve taken him away for the weekend because when Jonghyun came home later that evening after saying goodbye to Jinki – the park being the midway point between their houses – he was nowhere to be seen, leaving Jonghyun to have a quiet and peaceful weekend to himself.

When school came back around on Monday, Jonghyun was actually looking forward to going. He woke up an hour earlier than usual, surprising his mother, but that was all he felt fitting to do. He still wore his uniform the wrong way, with the top two buttons undone, his sleeves rolled up, and hair slicked up revealing his many rule-breaking piercings, but the effort to wake up early was appreciated.

His first lesson was P.E, a class that Jonghyun hated to deal with and found it to be capital punishment to be held first thing on a Monday, so when the bus stopped outside his school and he climbed off along with an elderly lady and a college student wearing a mini skirt and fishnets, he immediately walked into the convenience store from across his school and bought a bottle of soda and tried his best to score a packet of cigarettes.

“ID?” The store clerk asked and Jonghyun went through his charade again. He rummaged through every stage show, checking through his pockets, his wallet, and then his backpack. He would then throw the store clerk a charming smile, but he would have none of it.

Then came in Minho, also ditching his first class, maths. “Hey, hyung,” he said, patting Jonghyun on the shoulder and then walked to grab an energy drink from the refrigerated section.

“Alright,” the store clerk said, rolling his eyes and grabbing a packet of cigarettes. He threw it at Jonghyun. “Don’t tell my boss,” he said and then read out the total price. Jonghyun was about ready to pay before Minho slammed his energy drink on the counter and the cashier put that through too, adding a few extra won to his total.

Thank God he’d gotten his allowance a day early. He shoved the money across, collected his change, and took his rewards.

“You owed me,” Minho said as he cracked open his energy drink and took a long swig.

“Thanks, dude.” Jonghyun’s saving grace was his friendship with Minho, who somehow managed to pass for a third year despite being a year younger than Jonghyun. He tucked his cigarettes into his trouser pocket and opened his bottle of soda and sipped the bubbles away. They fizzled on his tongue and tasted sweet and fruity.

“So, how was your date with Jinki-hyung?” Minho asked as they trudged through the school halls to the roof. As they passed by Minho’s classroom the door opened and the two ducked out of the way to avoid being seen. Kim Kibum stepped out holding a hall pass and glowered at them.

He closed the door and said: “Freaks.”

“Nice to see you too, Kibum,” Minho said with a meek smile. Kibum rolled his eyes and walked away.

“It’s first thing, why does he need a hall pass?” Jonghyun asked as they continued to the roof.

“He has some special condition and that’s all they’ll tell us,” Minho explained as he finished off his energy drink. He crumpled the can in his hand and threw it into the trash can outside the roof door. Jonghyun opened the double doors and took in the fresh air of the morning. It smelled different on the roof than it did on the ground; it smelled newer, cleaner, and less toxic to the lungs. He could taste the oxygen and ozone on his tongue as he walked to his usual spot and sank to the floor. He opened his bottle again and took another sip.

“Weird kid,” Jonghyun muttered.

“Anyway, you didn’t answer my question. How did your date go?”

“Weirdly,” Jonghyun said, glancing over to Minho. “Did you meet Joon?”

“Who?” Minho replied, his face crumpling in confusion. “Never heard of him.”

That didn’t settle right in Jonghyun’s stomach and he smacked his lips, trying to keep the sweet taste of the soda from turning bitter. “Okay.”

“Why?”

“Jinki took me to see him. Apparently they’re best friends and he had a basketball game and… Well, I honestly don’t really remember the rest,” Jonghyun muttered.

“What about when you were introducing him to Roo – which by the way really offended me because it took me three months before you’d let me meet your princess.”

Jonghyun snorted and then rummaged for his cigarette carton and lighter. Like routine he would poke one through, stick it in his mouth and light it. “Don’t take any offence, I just didn’t know what else to do. He wanted to ride a bike.”

“Did you tell him?”

“What? That I don’t know how? Of course, I did!” Jonghyun said, blowing out plumes of smoke through his nose. “Wanna see a cool trick I learnt?”

“Sure.” Minho turned and faced him directly, legs crossed. Jonghyun smirked and took another drag on his cigarette until his cheeks were puffed up. He then pouted his lips into a small o and using his tongue he poked out tiny rings of smoke towards Minho’s face. His best friend coughed and waved them away but he clapped none the less. “That’s pretty cool.”

“Right? Anyway, after the whole Roo thing we said goodbye and that was it.”

“Sounds about right,” Minho said, looking up at the clear blue sky. “He’s distant sometimes, attentive others. Oh, a word of warning,” he continued, looking at Jonghyun. “Don’t try to kiss him.”

“Why not?” Jonghyun asked, quirking a thick brow up.

“He doesn’t let anyone kiss him, so just don’t try.”

Jonghyun scoffed. “Like I would try. Do you think I’m desperate?” When Minho remained wordless, he said: “Minho!”

Minho only shrugged and continued to look up at the sky.

* * *

Music was the lesson just before lunch and Jonghyun had the liberty of sitting next to Jinki for that lesson as they were the best singers in the class. Jinki was late to class that day and when he saw Jonghyun sitting in his seat he actually brightened.

“Morning!” Jinki said, hopping over to Jonghyun’s desk. “I brought you some milk bread from the bakery near my house. I was going to give it to you after P.E but Sandeul said you skipped.”

“Oh, yeah,” Jonghyun said. “Thanks, Jinki.” He took the bread with a genuine smile and saved it for later by stuffing it into his backpack. Miss Kwon would kill him if he ate in her class.

“No problem,” Jinki said, sliding into his seat. “Want to have lunch together?”

Jonghyun hadn’t heard the question at first, assuming Jinki was talking to someone else but when Jinki tapped his shoulder and he glanced over and the question was repeated he replied with an uncertain: “Sure…” He only ever spent lunch with Minho on the roof where they would drink juice and make jokes and sometimes Jonghyun would show Minho his composition notebook.

“Great, where do you usually go?” Jinki asked, leaning forward in his desk.

“The roof.”

Jinki leant back, eyes blown wide. “You’re allowed up there?”

“Not really,” Jonghyun explained. “But, we’ve been caught once and the teacher didn’t care enough to do anything so we just go there.”

“Is that where you go when you skip?” Jinki asked. “Why do you smell like smoke?”

“You’re asking too many questions,” Jonghyun joked, flashing his lopsided grin. Jinki gave Jonghyun a tight lipped smile and moved away to keep his distance. Somehow it felt like Jonghyun had offended Jinki, but somehow it also felt like he hadn’t. Jinki was a hard person to read sometimes. He always smiled, he always looked happy, but the Jinki he had seen on Friday was nothing like how he usually was.

Jonghyun glanced over at Jinki as he chewed on his pen lid, reading through the notes from the previous lesson, and wondered if anyone knew the real him.

He really had a lonely existence, Jonghyun surmised. Jinki then caught him looking, glancing up through thick eyelashes.

“You’re looking at me again. Is there something on my face?”

“No,” Jonghyun said, shaking his head and he broke his gaze from Jinki’s face. He wondered how many times he was going to get caught looking at him before he would be called out for it.

* * *

Jinki grabbed two sandwiches from the cafeteria and led Jonghyun to his home room where a few students were hanging around, already eating boxed lunches. Jonghyun felt guilty for ditching Minho, but when he sent him a text explaining, all he had received was a crying laughing face emoji and a knife emoji. He was going to receive some revenge, he was sure.

“Want a juice?” Jonghyun asked as Jinki pulled up two chairs to his named desk.

“Oh, sure, I’ll take orange,” Jinki replied, smiling widely. He smiled in such a way that Jonghyun could see all of his teeth. Jonghyun remembered back in middle school when Jinki had braces to straighten out his crooked teeth. His two front incisors remained resilient and stood out against the rest of his jaw. He looked like a bunny, with his two sticky out teeth and the way his nose would crinkle when he was happy.

Jonghyun walked over to the vending machine at the end of the hall and rolled in the remains of his allowance to grab two boxes of juice. As if on auto play he pressed apple and orange and then bashed his head against the glass when he watched the bright red box fall. 

With a heavy sigh, he picked up both juice boxes and walked back to the classroom. “Sorry, I got apple. You can have my orange,” he said to Jinki, tossing him the orange box. Jinki caught it clumsily and smiled at it.

“You sure? I don’t mind apple.”

“Nah, it’s okay,” Jonghyun shook his head and stabbed the foil with his straw. He began to take a sip and grimaced. It was way, way too sweet for his taste buds. Especially after the soda he had this morning. Jinki watched him, sipping on the orange juice.

“We can share this one?” He offered after taking a sip and Jonghyun glanced at the opening where Jinki’s lips had been puckered around it and swallowed thickly.

“N-no, thank you,” Jonghyun declined. That was far too intimate for a relationship that was only meant to be platonic. Jonghyun opened the tuna mayonnaise sandwich as Jinki dug into the ham and cheese. “Man, Miss Kwon is a hard-ass, who gives out a project during the last month of the school?”

Jinki smiled. “It’s good, it builds character.”

“You would think that, Mr Straight-A’s.”

Jinki’s smile faltered for a minute and then he nibbled on the soft white bun of his sandwich. “It doesn’t come easily to me you know… I work really hard.”

Jonghyun glanced up at Jinki, surprised.

“Sorry… I didn’t mean…”

“No, it’s okay,” Jonghyun said, putting aside his sandwich. “Did I upset you?”

“No, it’s not that,” Jinki declined. He shook his head, soft curls bouncing. They looked golden in the sunlight. “I just didn’t think you thought like everyone else.

“Thought what?”

“That I’m really smart and nothing fazes me.”

Jonghyun sat back. “I never really thought that.” _That’s not true_.

Jinki seemed relieved and he smiled again. “Really? Because I work really hard and I’m not as smart as people think-“

“Jinki,” Jonghyun said, stopping his friend’s rambling. “If you work hard and still achieve the scores you do, then you’re still smart.”

Jinki smiled again and bit down his sandwich happily. “Thanks, Jonghyun,” he said with a mouthful of bread, ham, and cheese.

Jonghyun glanced out of the window as he sipped on his ghastly apple juice. He watched as a familiar red head bobbed by and then walked into the school. As he got closer Jonghyun could make out delicate features and a hooked nose.

In surprise he spat his apple juice out and Jinki let out a noise of disgust. “What the hell…”

Jonghyun felt torn at that moment, he didn’t know how to say that Jinki’s ex was in the school and he didn’t quite know what a middle schooler was doing at the high school during this time of day either.

“What was it?” Jinki asked, wiping up some of the apple juice. “What did you see?” He craned upwards and saw Taemin outside the school door. “Oh.”

“Sorry…”

“No, it’s okay,” Jinki said with a soft smile. “He takes dance here on Mondays because the dance school down the street closed down a few weeks ago.”

“So…” Jonghyun said. “How do you know this?”

Jinki looked up at Jonghyun and pondered. Jonghyun considered that he was thinking of a way to construct his answer that would offend him the least and waited with baited breath.

“Because,” Jinki started slowly, avoiding Jonghyun’s eyes. “We’re still friends.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lame cliffhanger is lame i know  
> the good stuff happens next chapter though. we get to see taemin again!
> 
> you can follow me on twitter if you'd like:  
> @jjong_bluemoon
> 
> thanks again for all the comments and kudos, it means a lot <3


	6. Chapter 6

Jonghyun wasn’t entirely sure where the time between him stuffing his face with the remains of his sandwich and Jinki dragging him down the hall to meet Taemin had gone but it had happened, ticked by, and ended all at once.

Taemin was stood in the foyer with Kibum and another kid Jonghyun didn’t recognise, figuring he was from the same school as Taemin. During the in-depth discussion about dance, Taemin continuously tucked his red hair behind his ear, only to muss it up after he became irritated with it.

“Hey, guys,” Jinki said walking up to the group. Kibum and Taemin immediately moved to the voice, as if on instinct, and Jonghyun ducked behind Jinki, not wanting to be seen. “How’s it going?”

“Oh, hey hyung,” Kibum said with a lazy smile and a wave to match.

“Jinki-hyung!” Taemin said excitably, bobbing on the balls of his feet. “Who’s that behind you?”

Jonghyun could feel all eyes, including Jinki’s, fall on him, accusingly and inquisitively. Even the boy Jonghyun didn’t know had to pipe up a comment. “Why is he hiding?”

“Jonghyun, come and meet my friends,” Jinki said and Jonghyun wanted to tell Jinki that he actually already knew of his friends because Kibum was in Minho’s classes and he had been the witness to Taemin’s graceful break-up with him. Instead, he kept tight-lipped and side stepped out of Jinki’s shoulder.

“Jonghyun?” Kibum echoed with an impressively arched eyebrow. He gave Jonghyun a once over, eyes flickering up and down and then turned his head to the side to hide his smirk.

“Oh, I know you,” Taemin said, eyes widening when he recognised Jonghyun’s face. “You were the one smoking when I… broke up… with Jinki-hyung…” Taemin looked back down at his feet, scuffing his dance shoes across the dirty carpet.

“Old news,” Jinki said with a shrug. “Jonghyun’s my boyfriend,” he then said and Jonghyun was immediately taken aback. Sure, they were dating, or at least in Jinki’s eyes they were _dating_ but he never really thought of them as boyfriends. Mainly because they hadn’t done anything that boyfriends would do.

“Does _he_ know that?” Kibum asked, folding his arms over his chest.

Jinki glanced over at Jonghyun and Jonghyun gave him a strong smile and a quick nod. Sure, he could be Jinki’s boyfriend. “Yeah, I know,” Jonghyun said.

Kibum snorted. “I never thought bad boys were your type, hyung,” he muttered. “We need to get to dance anyway. It was nice meeting you, Jonghyun.”

“You better add a hyung to that,” Jonghyun threatened as the first year sauntered away, followed closely by the middle school students, trailing him like ducklings.

“Sorry about that,” Jinki said, scratching his head. “I might’ve made it a bit awkward.”

Jonghyun laughed and threw an arm around Jinki’s shoulder, which was a feat because Jinki was a little taller than him. “It’s no problem. I had no idea bad boys were your type either,” he joked and Jinki bit on his lower lip.

In all honesty, he never really thought what Jinki’s type would be. He looked back over to where Kibum and Taemin had disappeared and realised that they had something in common other than dance. They were pretty. Kibum had a pretty smile and pretty hair and a pretty jawline, and Taemin was just… flat-out gorgeous. Even Jonghyun could admit Minho was just as pretty as well, especially now he was growing his hair out.

Jinki had dated pretty boys and pretty girls and as he realised it, Jonghyun’s arm slipped from around Jinki’s neck. He wasn’t pretty like all the rest, and maybe that’s why Jinki wasn’t making a physical effort, because he wasn’t Jinki’s type.

“Jonghyun, are you okay?” Jinki asked, taking hold of his falling arm, wrapping a warm hand around his wrist. Jonghyun looked at him and then gave him a steady smile.

“I’m great, Jinki. Let’s go finish lunch.”

* * *

The next day Jonghyun didn’t skip lunch with Minho. They sat on the roof, watching some of the third years amble around the courtyard, chatting excitably about how this week was their last and discussing their college options.

“You got any food?” Minho asked, stretching. Jonghyun hummed around his lollipop and then dug around in his backpack. His fingers found something soft, wrapped in plastic and he pulled it up without thinking. “What’s that?”

“Milk bread,” Jonghyun said. “Jinki gave it to me… You can have it.” He shoved it into Minho’s hands without looking and Minho quickly tore the plastic wrapping off to bite into the pillowy-soft bread.

“Sweet! Why did Jinki-hyung get you bread?”

Jonghyun shrugged. He honestly didn’t know, and maybe Jinki had explained why and he wasn’t listening. He scribbled something down in his composition notebook and then stared up at the clouds until his eyes began to water.

“It’s something wrong?” Minho then asked, half way through the bread.

“Jinki… He has a type, doesn’t he?”

Minho ceased chewing and stared at Jonghyun with wide eyes. Jonghyun could feel the burn of his stare and he glanced away from the sky, rolling his head against the plastered wall. “Why do you ask?”

“Well… Kibum,” Jonghyun stared, counting off his fingers. “Taemin. You. You’re all… pretty boys.”

Minho coughed and reached for his apple juice. He took a long sip and then, when he wasn’t at hazard of choking, began to laugh. “Are you serious?”

“Yes!” Jonghyun sat up straight, closing his notebook and setting it off to the side. Minho probably wouldn’t understand Jonghyun’s reasoning because he probably didn’t see himself as a pretty boy, even though he knew he was incredibly good-looking. Jonghyun took in a deep breath and craved a cigarette and then sucked harder on his lemon-flavoured lollipop to ease it. “Why are you laughing?” He asked when Minho started up again, resting against the wall, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down.

And then it came, the question Jonghyun had been asking himself continuously since Friday but had hoped would never come out of anyone else’s mouth. “Why do you care so much?” Minho asked, wiping away a tear.

“I don’t care,” Jonghyun said. “I don’t!”

Minho laughed again. “Sure, hyung. Maybe Jinki-hyung does have a type, and maybe he doesn’t. He never said anything to me.”

“He’s never said anything?” Jonghyun reiterated, eyebrows knitting together in confusion. He looked down at his notebook and fiddled with the pencil he had attached to it with string.

“No, and why would he?”

“Because you dated him for a month?” Jonghyun said back as if it were the most obvious thing. Maybe it was to him, maybe it was obvious to ask such a thing of the guy you were dating, and maybe Jonghyun cared a little too much to know.

“But, you’re dating him _now_ , hyung,” Minho said. “Why don’t _you_ ask him?”

Jonghyun pondered for a moment, rolling the sweet around in his mouth and then decided to drop the subject before he became too invested. “Any plans for the summer?”

“The usual. I think my mum’s booked a vacation for me and my sister. You?”

Jonghyun sighed. “The usual for me too.”

“Sleeping, writing, jerking off?”

Jonghyun laughed mechanically. “You know me too well.”

* * *

Jonghyun didn’t attend the rest of his classes that day, mainly because he didn’t have literature or music that day and that was the only thing that mattered to him the most. He could almost hear his father, ringing around in his head, telling him how much of a disappointment he was, how hard he worked to put Jonghyun through school just so he could throw it all away. He could hear it so clearly he was sure his father was actually yelling at him at the moment.

But, he wasn’t at home, and was instead in the library catching a quick nap before the end of the day. He had propped himself on the sofas hidden at the back of the library, legs thrown across another chair and a book sitting on his face. He could hear the hushed murmurs of older students asking about him as the passed by and even some first years who thought it was funny to throw things at him to make sure he was actually asleep.

He scared a few of them by tipping the book upwards to give them a scary glare.

“I told you he was sleeping,” one of them whispered as the group ran away.

“This is pitiful,” another voice said, to the left of Jonghyun this time and he pulled the book from his face completely this time. “This is your boyfriend,” the voice, belonging to Kibum, said again. Jonghyun immediately sat up straight, pulling his legs from the chair he’d been using as a footrest. Jinki was watching him carefully with an unreadable expression.

“Hey,” Jonghyun said, giving Jinki and Kibum a short wave. “What’s up?”

“Well, Kibum needed help with a biology assignment,” Jinki explained. “So I said I’d help him… I didn’t think you’d be down here.”

“What are you doing?” Kibum asked, folding his arms across his chest – he did that a lot, Jonghyun noticed. “Skipping class again?”

“No!” Jonghyun said even though he knew it was a complete lie, and that everyone else knew that too. “I came to do some light reading before going home.”

“Light reading is _Please Look After Mother_?” Kibum asked, snatching the book from Jonghyun’s lap and showing him the cover. He hadn’t really looked at what he had picked up, and had just gone for a thick book that would cover his eyes well enough to sleep.

“Yes?” Jonghyun said, snatching it back. “Excuse me.” And he flicked through the pages until he landed in the middle of the book. He looked over the first sentence and sighed.

Jinki began to laugh and Jonghyun didn’t know if it was a good kind of laugh, the kind of laugh you would give a friend after they unintentionally do or say something hilarious. Jonghyun looked up from the book. “I know you’re lying,” he laughed.

Jonghyun threw the book to the side, hearing it thump against the worn leather. “Yeah…”

“Don’t you sleep much?” Jinki asked and Kibum excused himself to look in the biology section. _Alone_ , he added.

“I have insomnia so… No,” Jonghyun said, fiddling with his thumbs. He didn’t want Jinki to feel sorry for him, pity him, or look down on him but what he actually did surprised Jonghyun the most.

“Is it from school or home life?” He asked.

“A bit of both,” Jonghyun said honestly, taking a chance and looking up at Jinki. “Sorry for ditching lunch today.”

Jinki smiled. “I saw you on the roof with Minho, so I knew you had a good reason. You shouldn’t abandon your friends just because you’re dating someone.”

Somehow, Jinki’s words made Jonghyun’s heart tighten and feel lighter all at the same time. Like he was guilt ridden and relieved at once. Jonghyun gave Jinki a small smile in return, too tired to let it reach his eyes, and then Jinki held out his hand.

“Want to walk me home today for a change?” Jinki asked and Jonghyun said yes.

* * *

Unfortunately, Kibum found that he wanted to tag along too, to get some help from Jinki for his assignment, and Minho had met up with them at the school gate, waiting for Jonghyun. Somehow, Jonghyun walking his _boyfriend_ home became a group of friends walking to Jinki’s house for various reasons.

“Jonghyun,” Jinki said, holding himself back and letting Minho and Kibum, who had gotten into an argument over something so random Jonghyun actually couldn’t keep up with the logistics, walk in front, oblivious. Jonghyun looked up from his feet. “Have you started your project yet?”

“No, you?”

Jinki nodded. Figures, he was top student for a reason. This must’ve been his working hard thing he had talked about yesterday, Jonghyun realised. “Need some help?”

Jonghyun kicked away a stone that was in his path and wished that Jinki had just asked if they wanted to set up a study date instead, it was less humiliating than thinking that Jinki assumed he has trouble with school just because he skipped so much. “Not really.”

Jinki’s face fell a little and he looked down, letting his soft hair fall over his eyes. “Oh, okay.”

“I need to go the book store though,” Jonghyun continued, throwing a life ring. “Want to come with me?”

“Sure!” Jinki said, looking up and shaking the hair out of his eyes. Jonghyun stopped walking then and reached across the brush it from his face completely. Jinki looked shell-shocked, eyes wide and mouth parted. “Wh-what are you doing?”

“You look better when I can see your face,” Jonghyun said with a shrug before picking his pace back up, leaving Jinki to freak out internally on his own. When he looked up and saw that Minho and Kibum had ended their argument and had seen everything, he suddenly realised how it looked.

Kibum, he didn’t care much for, but if Minho thought he was starting to get serious about Jinki, he’d never hear the end of it. And Minho’s smug smile suggested he would only start hearing about it later tonight.

Jinki caught up to him a moment later and wrapped his hand around Jonghyun’s wrist and Jonghyun didn’t fight it. Minho would let him hear so much later on anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you again for all the comments and kudos for the previous chapter <3
> 
> if you want to follow me on twitter, my handle is @jjong_bluemoon
> 
> <33


	7. Chapter 7

Jonghyun didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye to Jinki when they finally reached his house as Kibum had dragged him away the moment Jinki touched the front gate. All Jonghyun got was a small smile and a wave from Jinki before the door slammed shut in Jonghyun’s face. He sighed and shoved his hands into his trouser pockets, Minho slinging an arm around his shoulders.

“Cheer up, hyung,” he said in that light and cheery voice he used when Jonghyun was too sad to even force smile. “My mum got me a new basketball over the weekend, want to shoot some hoops?”

“As long as you don’t lecture me about basketball,” Jonghyun muttered. “I’m still sore from Saturday.”

Minho tilted his head in question and pulled his arm away. He then swung both arms back and forth and Jonghyun could feel the breeze against his cheek. It wasn’t a particularly warm day, the clouds gathering into large grey clumps in the horizon but the breeze felt nice and cool against his skin. “So, do you want to talk about it?”

“About what?” Jonghyun asked, feigning ignorance. He could feel Minho glare at him, provoking him to drop the idiot façade but joke’s on him, Jonghyun was always an idiot.

“About what just happened with Jinki-hyung, about what happened on Saturday. Something’s bothering you.”

“Yeah, it’s you,” Jonghyun joked, shoving his best friend playfully and Minho didn’t retaliate. That wasn’t good. “Ah, come on Minho, there’s nothing to talk about.”

“He’s calling you his boyfriend,” Minho pointed out. “That’s something to talk about.”

“That’s Jinki, though,” Jonghyun offered. “Surely he did that with you too-“

“Nope,” Minho said immediately. A little too quickly, as if he had expected Jonghyun to say that. Jonghyun stopped and stared at Minho for an uncomfortable amount of time. “This is the first time I’ve heard him call anyone his boyfriend.”

“That means nothing,” Jonghyun shrugged off.

“He could’ve just called you a friend like he did with everyone else,” Minho continued, ignoring Jonghyun’s increasing agitation. It rippled under his skin, itched like a bug bite, to hear Minho talk and talk about Jinki’s previous relationships and how different his was compared to them. “But you’re his _boyfriend_.”

“He didn’t call me that with Joon though,” Jonghyun said, meaning for it to be an argument against Minho’s point. But when Minho gave him a confused look, he realised it had fallen completely flat.

“Okay?” He said, shrugging a shoulder. “So, what?”

 _Yeah,_ Jonghyun thought, _so what?_

“Does that bother you?”

“You’re not my therapist, Minho,” Jonghyun snapped. Before they had realised it, they’d passed through the park near their estate and was now on the street they both lived on. Minho’s mother was home from the look of her car in the driveway but Jonghyun’s parents were not. “I thought we were gonna shoot some hoops.”

“Okay, just give me a minute,” Minho said and he jogged across the road and dipped into his home. If only dropping conversations with other people were that easy, Jonghyun would have an easier life.

* * *

Dating Lee Jinki seemed like an odd prospect. He was the kind of guy you brought home to your parents, the kind of guy you’d be proud to introduce to friends as your other half. He seemed like he would be a caring and attentive boyfriend but when Jonghyun recalled what his classmates had said about his too-attentiveness, his forced caring attitude, and he wondered when he would get that. When would he get overly-attentive Jinki, the kind of Jinki that never felt genuine.

Because that was the problem, Jonghyun realised, he was _too_ genuine.

Not once did he get the idea that Jinki wasn’t trying to impress him, not once did he get the belief that Jinki was being someone that he wasn’t. Not once.

Jonghyun didn’t know if that pissed him off or made him relieved to know that he was the kind of person Jinki could be genuine around, especially since Jinki himself was the type of person people gravitated towards.

He was watching Jinki again in literature, last thing on Friday. Jinki was chewing on his pen lid as he listened to Miss Hong read a passage from one of the books she had listed last week. Jinki’s hair was straighter today and a little darker at the roots and it seemed shorter too. Whenever Jinki bent down to write a note down, his hair didn’t swing over his eyes like it did before and he wasn’t shaking his head to see again.

He vaguely registered Miss Hong say something, look in his direction, but it wasn’t until the entire class turned to look at him did Jonghyun realise she had been talking to him.

“Uh, sorry?” He said with a sheepish smile.

“Jonghyun, if you have time to stare at Jinki, then you have time to listen to what I have to say.”

The class snickered and Jinki’s eyes lowered and he turned back to the front and Jonghyun felt even more embarrassed than he had. “Sorry, Miss,” he said, swallowing loudly.

“Alright, well, just pay attention. Lord knows this is the only class you actually attend.” She muttered that last part but when the class snickered again, Jonghyun felt as if he’d been singled out. Picked out of the crowd and placed on a pedestal for all the students to stare and laugh at. _See students_ , he imagined Miss Hong saying as she pointed out all of his flaws, _this is what a failure looks like_.

Funny, even in his fantasies, Miss Hong sounded an awful lot like his father.

Jonghyun tried his best to focus after that, eyes still wandering over Jinki every so many minutes and he swore he saw Jinki jerk his head slightly, as if he could sense Jonghyun’s eyes bore into his neck.

And then came his refuge – Miss Hong ended the class five minutes early. But, it didn’t last for long as whilst the other students packed their stuff away, she called out his name loud and clear and asked him to stay behind. Jonghyun huffed and sank lower into his seat, kicking at his neighbour in front. Jinki hesitated hitching his satchel onto his shoulder and glanced over to Jonghyun.

He then walked over and Jonghyun sat up.

“Want me to wait outside for you?” Jinki asked, fingers scratching at the strap of his bag.

“Sure… but why?”

Jinki shrugged. “You said you needed to go to the bookstore, right? We can get some ice cream after, if that’s okay?”

“That sounds great,” Jonghyun said with a smile. It felt airy in his chest to see Jinki smile at him. When Jinki reached across and brushed a strand of hair that had escaped his gel-assault this morning, he found himself frozen under the elder’s gaze. His touch felt unfamiliar, even though he had felt it on his arm since they first started dating.

Jinki’s cheeks grew red and he retracted his arm in a way that Jonghyun felt like he had burnt him. “I’ll be outside,” he said meekly and raced to the door.

Jonghyun sighed, kicked himself from his desk and walked over to Miss Hong who began to berate him about day dreaming in class.

* * *

“Do you have a type?” Jonghyun asked randomly in the middle of the bookstore. Jinki, who had been rifling through a poetry book he had picked up, immediately dropped it in surprise. “Oh!” Both of them bent down to pick it up at the same time and the moment Jinki’s fingers trailed over the back of Jonghyun’s hand, he was pulling back and away. He took a formal step back as Jinki snatched the book back up, dusted the cover and tucked it into his arm.

“A type?” Jinki asked, turning back to the shelf. “Have you got a copy of this?” He slid out an anthology of Lee Jung Ha’s poetry.

“No,” Jonghyun responded, taking it from Jinki and tucking into his arm too, mimicking Jinki. “Yeah, a type.”

“Mmm,” Jinki hummed as he looked through the rest of the poetry before shaking his head. “A type… I never really thought about it, honestly.”

“Why not?” Jonghyun asked, bounding after Jinki as he walked into the classical fiction part of the store. A couple of girls from their school noticed them and giggled. Jonghyun gave them a wave and a charming smile before immediately turning back to Jinki. “Surely there must be a type of person you like?”

Jinki gave him a hard stare for a long time, and it felt as if Jinki could see all of him. Every word of every thought he ever had, every tear he had shed and laugh he had shared. “Yes, there is,” he replied cryptically with a slight smirk and Jonghyun nearly bowed down under the weight of trying to pry an answer from his friend. Boyfriend. Boy… Friend.

“And that type is?”

“A human being.” Jinki pulled out _The Cloud Dream of the Nine_ and handed that to Jonghyun, who took it without glimpsing at the cover.

“You’re impossible,” Jonghyun muttered, leaning against the book shelf with an oof. Jinki glanced at him for a brief second before breaking into a bright smile and a low laugh. “What?”

“You’re so funny,” Jinki said with the shake of his head. “Why do you care what my type is?”

“I don’t,” Jonghyun mumbled. “I was just curious.”

“Were you hoping I’d say you?” Jinki asked then, suddenly getting closer to Jonghyun. He blinked rapidly, feeling the warm air of Jinki’s breath against his nose, fanning over his skin. Jinki had sharp, monolidded eyes and usually they were crinkled softly when he smiled, now they were intense and almost dark, inviting Jonghyun to push harder, prod deeper. “Well?”

Jonghyun swallowed thickly, feeling his heart thud against his rib cage. “You cut your hair,” he said suddenly and ducked away from Jinki.

“I did,” Jinki said, blinking again. “I did cut my hair…”

“Can we buy these and get ice cream now?” Jonghyun asked, avoiding Jinki’s gaze. He looked almost hurt, as if he had wanted Jonghyun to take part in his game.

“You need one more book,” Jinki said, his voice a little sadder. “It’s in the modern section. Follow me.”

And Jonghyun did.

* * *

“When did you get those piercings done?” Jinki asked, digging into his triple chocolate banana sundae, whilst Jonghyun toyed with the cherry on top of his strawberries and cream sundae. Upon their mention, Jonghyun reached up and gently touched his ear.

“Oh, last summer.”

“They suit your bad boy image,” Jinki joked, licking his spoon clean before scooping up some more is cream and popping it back into his mouth.

The ice cream parlour they had gone to was one that opened up onto the food court at the mall. They’d taken outside seats to people watch, and listen to the hum of everyday life: The time-killing gossip between two shift workers, the school-wide gossip that was shared between a group of students, and the chattering and nagging of young mothers looking after their small children.

“Ah, I’m not really a bad boy,” Jonghyun said, slightly embarrassed, shoving aside his whipped cream to get to the frozen treat. In all fairness, he wasn’t. In his image, a bad boy started fights and stole things and beat up innocent people and Jonghyun was none of those things.

“You smoke, you skip class, you have piercings,” Jinki counted off his fingers. “Text book bad boy.”

“I like to think I’m a rebel,” Jonghyun joked instead with his lopsided grin and Jinki scrutinised his face for a moment before ducking his head down and shovelling mouthful after mouthful of ice cream into his mouth. Jonghyun’s spoon scraped the glass of his sundae bowl and Jinki looked up again, a question on his mind.

 “What do you plan to do when you finish high school?” Jinki asked.

“Um…” Jonghyun paused. “Music, I guess.”

“Just music?” Jinki asked. “No back-up plans.”

“Yeesh, you sound like my dad,” Jonghyun groaned.

Jinki laughed gently. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to nag. I was just curious. You never seemed interested in anything other than music and literature.”

“They sort of come in the same, don’t you think?” Jonghyun supposed. “If you can write poetry, you can write lyrics, and with lyrics comes the melody. Music is something I’ve wanted to do forever.”

Jinki smiled. “It’s nice you have a passion.” The way Jinki said that made Jonghyun’s stomach twist uncomfortably. He had never once thought it would be possible to feel guilty for loving something in life so much. He wondered how empty Jinki’s life really was outside of studies…

 “What about you?” He then asked and Jinki frowned.

“ _What_ about me?”

“What do you want to do after high school?”

Jinki sighed heavily and shrugged. “My mum wants me to be a doctor, my dad wants me to become a lawyer…”

“You could do either of those, you work so hard and you’re really smart,” Jonghyun pointed out, remembering Jinki’s confession at the start of the week. A couple consisting of a boy and girl walked into the parlour, Jonghyun’s eyes trailing over the girl before landing on their joined hands. His eyes skimmed over the boy’s wrist, where a thick, black band twice the size of his wrist rested. His eyes followed the band towards the boy’s strong hand and as soon as Jonghyun realised what he was doing, he was diverting his attention to the ice cream in front of him.

“Yeah, I guess,” Jinki said and Jonghyun’s eyes were back on him. He had this habit of averting his gaze, staring off to the side as he spoke about himself.

“What do you _want_ to do, though?”

Jinki shook his head. “It doesn’t matter what I want, my parents are the one paying to put me through university, I should respect their wishes.”

“That sounds sad,” Jonghyun mused and Jinki nodded. Not wanting to press the situation any more, Jonghyun offered Jinki some of his strawberry sundae, watching with heated cheeks as Jinki ate it off of his spoon. His mouth went dry the moment Jinki’s pink tongue poked out to lick away the ice cream stuck to his upper lip. He smacked his lips together then and hummed in delight.

“Delicious!”

“I didn’t used to be a big fan of strawberry but my sister recently got me into it,” Jonghyun explained, hoping his change of subject wasn’t too obvious as it felt to him.

“You have a sister?”

“Her name’s Taeyeon,” Jonghyun continued. He pulled out his wallet and showed Jinki an old photo of him and his sister from when Jonghyun was fourteen and Taeyeon was sixteen. “She’s at university now; she’s training to be a vet.”

“Oh, that’s cool,” Jinki said, taking a glimpse between the photo and the Jonghyun in front of him. “You haven’t changed.”

“I have too!” Jonghyun said in protest. “I’m way better looking now.”

Jinki grinned mischievously. “I’d beg to differ.”

“Hey!” Jonghyun shouted. He wanted to feel offence but all he could feel was relief. To have a pleasant conversation with Jinki, to get to know him, to have him open up. It felt nice. It felt really, really nice. He could get comfortable being with Jinki like this.

But he only had three weeks left and moments like this would become a fading memory. And after it was all over, all he would have left with Jinki is a brief history in the expanse of his growing life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> half way through! I hope you're all enjoying thus far!
> 
> Thanks again for the kudos and comments <3
> 
> follow me on twitter:  
> @jjong_bluemoon
> 
> See you later!! <3


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to note:  
> keigoki: the traditional training jacket  
> hakama: pleated pants  
> men: helmet  
> shinai: bamboo sword

Of all the things Jonghyun anticipated to wake him on the following Saturday morning - the list starting with his mother barging in to demand he pick up his dirty clothes and clean his room, and ending with Roo sitting on his face and releasing one of her deadly farts on his sensitive nose - a text from Minho telling him that Jinki had kendo practise that morning and if he wanted to tag along was the most unexpected.

Jonghyun was up in a flash, dressed, and racing out of the house before his mother could say good morning. Minho was waiting across the street, texting someone on his phone, and only looked up for a brief moment. Jonghyun waved at him and Minho glanced back at his phone and then back up to Jonghyun.

“Oh, hey!” Minho shouted. “I didn’t think you’d be out this quickly,” he added as he jogged across the street so the two of them could walk to the bus stop.

“How did you even know about Jinki’s kendo?” Jonghyun asked, not realising he already knew the answer.

Minho looked at him weirdly and then burst out laughing, clamping a hand down on Jonghyun’s shoulder. “I dated him, hyung!”

Oh, yeah, Jonghyun realised, Minho had done all of this before. He’d been on the lunch dates, he’d been on cute trips to cafes and ice cream parlours. They probably took couple photos together as well. They probably matched well, Minho’s cute small face and Jinki’s bright smile.

Jonghyun hadn’t noticed he’d been sighing so heavily until Minho stopped him with that same hand on his shoulder. “Hyung, are you okay?”

“Oh, what?” Jonghyun asked, looking up. He hadn’t expected Minho to latch onto his sudden mood shift. “These shoes are new and hurt a bit…” He kicked his foot out and twirled it around for a minute, letting Minho take a look.

“Oh damn,” Minho hissed, he looked down at his old worn trainers and then at Jonghyun’s brilliant white and navy ones. “This is why I wear my brother’s hand me downs.”

Jonghyun laughed into the air. “I don’t have a brother to hand me his old shoes. And besides, your brother only sees you once a month.” Minho lived with his mother, elder sister, and up until a few months ago, his elder brother. His brother, a cardiologist, had moved to Daegu after getting a job offer from the main city hospital.

“Maybe I’ll hand you mine,” Minho joked and Jonghyun simply shook his head. Minho was a size smaller than him, that wouldn’t work.

They approached their stop and right on time, the bus emerged from around the corner and halted, hissing as the doors opened. Both students hopped on and flipped the driver their student passes and made their way to the middle of the bus. Minho liked to take up a lot of space, spreading his legs, and Jonghyun found himself shoved up against the window.

“Anyway, how’s it going?”

“How’s what going, Minho?” Jonghyun asked, looking out of the window. Minho began to jog his leg up and down and Jonghyun rested his head against the vibrating glass. It was far too early to deal with his best friend’s quirks.

“You and Jinki-hyung.”

“It’s going,” Jonghyun said simply to end the conversation.

“Do you think your plan is working?” Minho then asked, ceasing his movements and moving in closer. Jonghyun actually looked at him this time. Minho was staring at him earnestly. “You know, to break his curse?”

“Sure,” Jonghyun shrugged. “But it’s hard to tell. He doesn’t seem like how all the stories said he was…”

“You don’t…” Minho faked a scandalised gasp. “You do! You have expectations too!”

“Oh, shut up!” Jonghyun said, elbowing Minho in the side. “My expectations are nothing like anyone else’s.” And he believed himself, because he didn’t see Jinki as the ideal partner. He saw Jinki as a friend in need, a friend he could help and kill some time with. A friend who was mysterious and had Jonghyun hanging onto his every word without realising it. Unless he did know and then maybe Jinki was far too powerful for Jonghyun to comprehend.

“Yeah right. I think you’ll find you’re no different from any of his past relationships,” Minho said, standing up and shuffling down the aisle as the bus pulled up outside their school. Jonghyun followed, trying not to mull over how much Minho’s words hurt deep down in his stomach, and how much they pinched at his chest.

They walked into the school and headed towards the sports hall where Kibum was standing outside, phone in his hand. “Took you two long enough to get here!”

“Hey, I had to wake up the boyfriend,” Minho said in his defence. Jonghyun glared up at him, how dare he throw his best friend under a bus like that!

Kibum rolled his eyes and tapped his foot on the floor. “He’s nearly on. Hurry up!” He opened the door and shoved Jonghyun in.

And that was when he realised he wasn’t near the sports hall at all, but rather in the men’s locker room. Jinki was alone in the middle of the room, wearing his _keigoki_ and _hakama_ , in his hand was his _men_ , he fiddled around with it for a few moments before looking up and breaking out in a smile.

“Jonghyun, what are you doing here?”

“Would you believe I was tricked?” Jonghyun said, smiling back. Jinki snorted and fiddled with his _men_ again, tossing it over and over. “You nervous?”

“I am a little now, yeah,” Jinki admitted with a blush. He sat down on one of the wooden benches, gripping his _men_ tightly. “I don’t… I’m not usually this nervous before most matches.”

“So…” Jonghyun said, hovering near the door feeling awkward. Jinki moved his other uniform pieces aside and patted the bench beside him. Jonghyun took a seat and began to wring his hands. “What’s different now?”

Jinki looked at him sincerely for a moment, chewing his cheek before glancing back at his feet. “It’s because you’re here.”

“You’re joking,” Jonghyun said, laughing gently. “Me? Why me?”

Jinki shrugged. Maybe he knew the reason and didn’t want to say, or maybe he just didn’t want to admit the truth so instead he sighed deeply and stood up and began to finish dressing himself. “You’ll cheer me on, won’t you?”

“Sure,” Jonghyun said, standing up too. “So… what’s your sword thing called?”

Jinki looked down at the white tipped bamboo sword and smiled. “It’s a _shinai._ ”

“ _Shinai_ ,” Jonghyun repeated. “That’s cool. What made you take kendo?”

Jinki shrugged again. “Because it’s cool, I guess.” They stood in the locker room for a few moments longer, Jinki’s _men_ tucked under his arm and _shinai_ clutched in his free hand. They waited with baited breath until the announcer called out Jinki’s name.

“Good luck,” Jonghyun said, reaching over and squeezing Jinki’s upper arm. The smile Jinki sent his way in return left Jonghyun reeling on his feet for a few moments. As soon as Jonghyun had touched Jinki, Jinki had disappeared through the double doors and Kibum was storming into the locker room and pulling Jonghyun out to lead him towards the door where the audience were coming and going.

“What did you want me to do in there!?” Jonghyun asked, turning on Kibum and Minho aggressively. The first years looked at each other and smiled.

“You cheered him up,” Kibum replied and Jonghyun was about to argue the actual opposite until Kibum’s hands cupped his face and turned it to the door they were about to walk through. “Now, cheer him on!”

Even though Jinki’s face was completely covered up by the _men_ , Jonghyun still recognised him from the way he walked, the way he held himself. When he took his position, one foot behind the other, sword raised mid-height, Jonghyun could feel the power emanating from Jinki. He had seen enough anime to know that the stance Jinki was performing was the high stance. He hadn’t expected someone like Jinki to pull off such a stance but the hall was left silent and all Jonghyun could feel was the urge to call out Jinki’s name.

When Jinki lunged forward with his attack, hitting his opponent on his _men_ , the hall exploded into a roar of applause. Jonghyun missed the tiny window of celebration and sat at the edge of his seat, waiting for Jinki to strike again. Jinki’s second strike echoed around the hall with a soft thwack and Jonghyun was the first to yell Jinki’s name. He watched as Jinki turned his head, hidden in that helmet, to the sound of his voice and even though Jonghyun couldn’t see his face, he knew that Jinki was smiling with gratitude for his support.

When Jonghyun sat back into his seat Kibum shook his head. “You two are the worst.”

“What?” Jonghyun said, not really paying attention, eyes trained on the graceful way Jinki raised his sword above his head. Kibum muttered something in his ear but he didn’t make it out, and he didn’t care to even try. He didn’t repeat himself and left Kibum’s words to the void.

Whatever Kibum had to say anyway could wait, because Jinki was one point away from winning and he wanted to see the final strike. He wouldn’t miss it for anything.

* * *

Jinki was sweaty, red in the face, clutching his team’s trophy as Jonghyun, Kibum, and Minho raced down to the locker room to congratulate him in person. His team would be taking nationals after the summer break and Jonghyun couldn’t help but let the overwhelming sense of pride swell in his chest. There was nothing wrong with being proud of a friend, surely.

Jinki emerged from the locker room twenty minutes later in a casual t-shirt and jeans and sneakers, his curly hair sticking to his face. “Hey, guys,” he said meekly to the crowd that had gathered.

“You’re going to nationals!” Kibum screamed first, running up to Jinki and wrapping his arms around his middle. Jinki slung one arm around Kibum’s shoulders and accepted a silent but grandeur nod from Minho. And then his eyes turned to Jonghyun and as his boyfriend it would be expected to do a big gesture.

But then he remembered Minho’s thing about not kissing him… So that was out of the question. Kibum still had his arms around his waist so he couldn’t hug him either.

“You er… You did great,” Jonghyun offered and Kibum scoffed. Jinki smiled, although Jonghyun couldn’t feel the warmth he had felt from Jinki’s smile earlier, as if he were anticipating something a little more but Jonghyun couldn’t quite figure out where to fix himself into a situation quite like this.

“Thanks, Jonghyun,” Jinki said. “Shall we get something to eat? I’m starving.”

“Let’s go to the Sky Rose Garden! My treat!” Kibum announced, pulling away from Jinki and moving to the front of the crowd. He sauntered over to the main entrance. Jonghyun stayed behind to walk with Jinki and he let the elder take his wrist in his hand like he always does.

“Sorry, I don’t…” Jonghyun started, staring at his feet. “I don’t do this thing well.”

Jinki laughed gently, he squeezed Jonghyun’s wrist. “It’s okay, I know you meant well. Thank you, by the way, for coming to see my earlier. I have a feeling I did better knowing you were here for me. You’re my lucky charm in that way.”

“Don’t say that,” Jonghyun joked. _Because when this month is over I won’t be here anymore. I won’t be your lucky charm anymore._ Jinki pursed his lips and his grip on Jonghyun’s wrist loosened.

“It’s true,” Jinki continued and it hurt, like a stab to the heart. “Thanks for coming.”

Jonghyun smiled and scratched the back of his head, bashfully. “You’re welcome.”

Jinki’s smile after that was the brightest Jonghyun had ever seen.

* * *

“I thought you said you wouldn’t fall for Jinki-hyung,” Minho said as Kibum and Jinki excused themselves to grab their orders. They were sitting in the café overlooking Chungmuro Avenue. The flowers were in full bloom, as it was early summer, and smelled sweeter that the overkill of scented syrups that emanated from the counter where Jinki and Kibum had collected the round of two sugary frappes and two milkshakes.

“I haven’t,” Jonghyun said indignantly.

“Sure. Do you want to know what I think?” Minho asked, leaning across the table and lowering his voice. “You’re a big fat liar.”

Jonghyun leaned down too and glared at his friend. “And I think you’re looking to cause trouble.” He leant back and raised his voice. “I am your hyung and you should treat me with respect!”

“Wow, he gives you that too?” Kibum asked as he and Jinki approached the table with their drinks. Kibum slammed Minho’s banana milkshake down and sipped on his frappucino whilst Jinki handed Jonghyun his drink. Their fingers lingered over the cup for a moment and Jinki’s smiled didn’t stray as he sat down. He narrowly missed the end of the chair and slipped off but saved himself and scooted onto the seat without anyone except Jonghyun noticing.

“I hear it all the time,” Minho said. “Hyung this, hyung that.”

“That’s why Jinki-hyung is cool,” Kibum said, sipping on his iced drink. “He doesn’t mind if I slip up. He even lets me call him ‘old man’ from time to time.”

“Old man?” Jonghyun questioned, glancing at Jinki. “Why’s that?”

Kibum glared at Jonghyun. “That’s my business.”

“Oh, my God,” Jonghyun said under his breath. He could not get a read on this boy, one moment he’s nice and friendly and Jonghyun thinks he might be able to be friends with him, but then Kibum turns into this snarky, arrogant person and he wracks his brain trying to find a reason why he and Jinki are even friends in the first place.

“He calls me ‘old man’ because I hurt my back when we played mini golf,” Jinki explained, teeth clenched around his straw as his eyes squinted, holding back laughter. Kibum’s straight face crumbled in a matter of moments and he leant back in his seat, letting out breathy cackles.

Jonghyun fiddled with the straw of his own drink, trying to not let the recollection of previous memories between two individuals – one of which was his supposed boyfriend – get under his skin but it did. It really shouldn’t have felt awkward, Jinki and Kibum had broken up long ago and there were no real feelings left between them, he could tell, and he really shouldn’t have felt jealous to hear Jinki and Kibum continue their story of their one magical date. Yet, somehow, he felt all of those emotions at once.

He felt as if he had been boxed out completely.

From across the table, Minho watched him with a raised brow and Jonghyun simply glared at him until he looked away.

He didn’t have time for Minho’s mind games.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for all the comments and kudos over the last few chapters, it means a lot to me.
> 
> I'm also really glad to hear you're all enjoying the pace of the story! It's gonna kick up a little bit now so hold onto your seats, we're not that far from the finish.
> 
> if you're interested, you can follow me on twitter (@jjong_bluemoon).
> 
> Thanks again!! I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well <3


	9. Chapter 9

“Minho,” Jonghyun started, asking a question out of the blue the following the Monday. He had a fresh new pack of cigarettes in his pocket and some kind of fruit flavoured water in his hand. Minho, who was sipping on his usual convenience-store branded energy drink, glanced over at Jonghyun at the mention of his name. He wiped his mouth.

“Are you gay?”

Minho took a moment to answer, consideration on his lips. “I am… why?”

Jonghyun didn’t respond immediately and he could feel Minho grow agitated and anxious beside him. “How did you know you were gay?” He then asked and Minho relaxed, shoulder’s slumped and smile soft.

“How did I _know_? Well, I didn’t wake up one day and decide to be gay suddenly like people seem to think. I guess I just noticed that the boys around me were a lot nicer to look at and admire than the girls. And then I started thinking about how nice it would be to kiss those boys and how the idea of kissing girls didn’t exactly repulse me, but it didn’t excite me either.”

Jonghyun listened to Minho’s explanation carefully. He reached towards his pocket to grab a cigarette before retracting his hand. “So, you don’t like girls at all?”

“It took me a while to realise that, but yeah, I don’t like girls at all,” Minho replied. He tapped his finger on the top of his can, the metallic clang with each drum echoing around the silent rooftop. Jonghyun finally grabbed a cigarette and stuck it to his lips. His fingers trembled as he lit it up and then let out a puff of stress expel from his lungs.

“Can someone who used to like girls suddenly not like them?” Jonghyun then asked. Minho glanced over at him and he shrouded away.

“Are you asking for yourself now, hyung?” Minho asked softly, as if he were in the middle of a field and a landmine was left hidden amongst the daisies and sunflowers. Jonghyun shrunk away further. “Hyung, it’s okay to be confused!”

“Is it?” Jonghyun asked, smoke punctuating each word. _Is it really_?

“Of course it is! Do you think you might be gay?”

“I’m…” Jonghyun stopped for a moment. “I’ve been noticing boys a lot more lately… Since I’ve started dating Jinki, I mean.”

Minho nodded along like a trained therapist. He hand his hands on his knees, the form of a wise old monk. “You like Jinki-hyung,” he said in a tone of such fact that Jonghyun almost believed it.

“No!” Jonghyun denied, his voice a little too strong to be natural. Minho raised a brow. “Not Jinki…” Sure, Jinki was handsome, and funny, and incredibly good at kendo, and smart and…

“You like someone else?” Minho then asked in a hushed tone, half scandalised half disappointed.

“No,” Jonghyun said again, shaking his head. “I just… I don’t know what I’m trying to say!” Jonghyun let out a frustrated groan, scratching at his head.

“It’s okay, hyung,” Minho said gently. He rubbed at Jonghyun’s arm comfortingly. “If it makes you feel any better, I kind of saw this coming.”

“You did?” Jonghyun asked.

“I did,” Minho commented with a curt nod. “You keep going on and on about how pretty I am. It used to confuse me, because I didn’t get why you brought it up all the time but now I understand.” Minho rolled his lips into a tight line and let out a huff of air. “Just, let time be time. You’ll figure it out eventually.”

Jonghyun nodded his head and unscrewed the cap of his water bottle. He took two long gulps, letting the artificial taste of guava coat his tongue. “I hope I do.”

Minho finished off his can and crumpled it in his hand, the colourful aluminium distorted in the shape of Minho’s strong grip. “I do have a question for you, though…”

“If it’s about why I asked Jinki out, I don’t want to hear it,” Jonghyun said with a forced laugh. He heard the roof door open and both boys froze. It wasn’t until Kibum’s head poked round the wall did they both start breathing again, Minho actually going physically purple in the face from holding his breath for too long. Jonghyun felt the burn in his lungs as he gasped for air.

“I wondered why Jinki-hyung kept talking about the roof yesterday… You two truants live up here.” He stared down at Minho’s drink can and Jonghyun’s open packet of cigarettes.

“What are you doing?” Minho asked, looking over his shoulder to Kibum. Kibum leant up against the wall, folding his arms.

“Nothing, I was sent to find you.” He directed this to Minho. “Mr Park is looking for you.”

“Why?”

“You didn’t hand in your homework,” Kibum said with a snipped tone. “He said he wants to see you after class, which…” He rolled up his blazer and glanced at his watch, counting the seconds under his breath before the school bell rang out. “Is now.”

Minho groaned and threw his arms around in distress before picking his can up and following Kibum. “See you later, hyung!”

“See you,” Jonghyun said, giving his friend an apologetic wave. Minho wasn’t like him, he attended most classes, but he was a lazy kind of student. The boy had sports on his brain most of the time, but somehow he ended up being the most reliable person Jonghyun knew.

* * *

Miss Kwon opened her class reminding the students about her project and how there only remained two weeks left to complete it. She expected outstanding work from her hardworking students, her eyes falling on Jonghyun as she said the last part. Jonghyun grinned, despite being a truant for most of his school career, Miss Kwon’s class was the one he excelled at and she appreciated his work, so much so that she defended his absence most of the time.

“Remember that you can either compose the music to a song, write the lyrics, or hand in a 2,000 word essay analysing your favourite piece of music and how the accompaniment, vocals, and lyrics all play a part in creating emotion.” Jinki raised his hand. “Yes, Jinki.”

“Could we partner up and make a composition and lyrics?” He asked and Jonghyun looked over at him. He seemed eager, on the edge of his seat. He eyes flickered over to Jonghyun for just a moment before ending back up on the teacher.

“I wouldn’t advise it,” Miss Kwon said and Jinki deflated. Jonghyun rested his chin in his palm and watched through his periphery as Jinki scribbled something in his notes and then crossed it out. Curious.

About two thirds of the class opted to do the essay and the rest had either chosen lyrical or composition work, which disappointed and surprised Miss Kwon. Jonghyun was on the edge of doing a composition or writing some lyrics, as he enjoyed both but it seemed Jinki had his heart set on the lyrics from the way he kept jotting things down and then scribbling them out and then rewriting them. He would underline a few words with his pink tongue poking out of his lips.

“Jonghyun,” Miss Kwon said and Jonghyun waited for the humiliation Miss Hong had pulled last week. “You’re the only one who hasn’t made your mind up,” she continued, not looking up from her clipboard. “Are you planning on doing both composition and lyrics?”

“Is that an option?” Jonghyun asked, mildly curious.

“I can allow it if you’ll promise it’ll be exceptional,” Miss Kwon said slowly. Jonghyun grinned, he always liked her best.

“I promise it’ll blow you away, Miss Kwon,” Jonghyun said with a charming grin and Miss Kwon’s cheeks lit up pink with joy and she scrawled something down next to his name.

As her back turned to the class to write up some key words for the essay, Jonghyun sank in his seat. Lower and lower until his chin hit the wood of his desk. Great, he promised something amazing and he barely had any inspiration. His composition notebook was empty at the minute and he had taken to leaving it at home just because carrying it around created unnecessary weight in his backpack and in the back of his mind.

A small piece of paper landed on his desk and he snatched it up, opening it under the desk.

_Namsan tower tonight? We can talk about our songs._

Jonghyun looked over to Jinki, whose face was a tell-tale shade of red but his eyes were focused on the blackboard. He was feigning interest in Miss Kwon’s words and trying very hard not think about Jonghyun’s reaction, that much was obvious. Jonghyun smiled softly and he wrote his response:

_Sure. After school?_

He nudged Jinki’s thigh with his hand and automatically, without looking, Jinki’s hand shot out to take the scrap of paper. Jonghyun heard Jinki open it and he could hear that small puff of air leave his lips as a smile formed on his face.

The paper came back a minute later and Jinki’s reply had Jonghyun’s heart doing all kinds of gymnastics in his chest.

_It’s a date!_

* * *

At the final bell, Jonghyun was out of the school faster than any other student. He hovered around the front gate, jumping up and down on the balls of his feet, waiting for Jinki to emerge. The doors burst open and Jinki walked out surrounded by most of the student body. Jonghyun sank back down to his usual level when he saw Kibum chatting his ear off.

However, when Jinki looked up and his eyes met with Jonghyun’s, it felt like the rest of the world melted away. Jonghyun relaxed into a smile as Jinki got closer.

“Are you ready to go?” Jonghyun asked the moment Jinki and Kibum reached him.

“Where are you two going?” Kibum asked, folding his arms over his chest and glaring at Jonghyun. The elder rolled his eyes, tired of being sassed by a first year, who was a transfer student no less.

“We’re going to Namsan to get some inspiration for our music project,” Jinki said to Kibum. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he added quickly before Kibum could even jump in and invite himself. He and Jonghyun walked away from the gate.

Kibum stomped his foot in annoyance and turned to walk away before Minho popped up and asked him a question. Jonghyun watched in surprise as Kibum’s demeanour shifted into a calm, gentle sea at the hands of Minho. The two turned the opposite direction of Jonghyun and Jinki, arms bumping as they walked in sync.

 _What the hell was that all about_?

Jonghyun held his hand out for Jinki to take and was taken by surprise when Jinki slipped his hand into it instead of wrapping it around his wrist. Jonghyun tried not to think about how clammy his hand suddenly became and how warm and comforting Jinki’s hands were. They were smooth, not what he expected a kendo student’s hands would be like.

“Is this too much?” Jinki asked, gesturing to their joined hands.

“No,” Jonghyun said, honestly. “It’s not too much.” Jinki seemed relieved and smiled at him. With Jinki’s hand in his like this, Jonghyun could pull him closer and push him away, as if they were performing their own kind of dance and when they crossed the road to get to the bus, he swung them back and forth like a child would with his mother.

Jinki chuckled and joined in, letting their hands swing higher and higher, reaching the sky almost until it swung back down and they were on the bus heading towards the nearest station that would take them to Namsan.

The tower wasn’t as crowded as Jonghyun had anticipated, especially since it was later afternoon on a Friday. A few students wandered around in their uniforms and a few tourists walked around speaking in a melody of foreign languages. The tower overlooked nearly the whole of the city and now he was here, Jonghyun was itching to grab a look.

He had been to Namsan tower once, when he was ten and he went with his mother and sister on a bank holiday. Taking a glimpse of the city he had lived and loved for his whole life from above fuelled a creative instinct in him and Jonghyun wanted so badly to feel that itch again.

Jonghyun took hold of Jinki’s wrist this time and led him towards the tower entrance. They paid for the entry and then waited to take the next elevator up with a small group of tourists. The ride up to the top of the tower was quiet and Jonghyun hadn’t let go of Jinki’s wrist. It felt odd for him to be the one taking charge but Jinki hadn’t mentioned anything about it. In fact, Jinki was sending him a strange look that Jonghyun couldn’t read properly.

The top of the tower was as scarce as the ground floor, only a few tourists, one couple, and a few school students taking selfies with the view. The windows were like a veil, opening up to a painting of the city bather in a soft, orange glow. There was a curtain of navy that faded into the pinks and purples on the horizon.

The two walked up to a free spot, as there were many to choose from, and glanced over the world below them.

Nothing, Jonghyun felt. Nothing.

“Wow,” Jinki mused. “I’ve never been here before.”

“What?” Jonghyun asked quietly. “You’ve never been to Namsan Tower before?” Oh, no, Jonghyun felt a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach that he hoped and pleaded wasn’t joy.

“I’ve done the lock thing,” Jinki explained, twiddling his thumbs. “But, I’ve never actually been up here. It’s so pretty.”

For all the times Jonghyun had taken the liberty of staring at Jinki’s face, he had never felt so breathless at this moment. Jinki was smiling softly, his skin glowing in the sunlight. His eyes were twinkling in the light as his fingers brushed against the glass gently.

“Don’t you think so?” Jinki asked, turning to face Jonghyun. “What’s wrong?” He suddenly asked.

“Nothing,” Jonghyun said, still transfixed on Jinki’s face. “Absolutely nothing.”

Jinki’s pink tongue poked out, trailing across his lower lip nervously. His lips glistened in the sunlight, as if he just applied lip gloss. Jonghyun thought about how plump and soft Jinki’s lips looked, and he wondered how it would feel to press his own against them, only for a second. He began to inch closer and Jinki instinctively mimicked him. He watched as Jinki’s eyes became hazy and fluttered closed.

“Jonghyun-oppa!?” A voice cried out from behind them and Jinki was immediately pulling back and yanking his wrist from Jonghyun’s touch. Jonghyun turned to look behind and found his ex-girlfriend, Kim Yura, staring at him as if she had seen a ghost. “What are you doing here?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *cackles*
> 
> i wanna say i'm sorry for the cliffhanger and the almost kiss but i'm not  
> I'M REALLY NOT ahahaha!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I apologise for being a day late with the update, I was working a night shift last night so I was unable to do my usual wednesday update ;;  
> it'll go back to normal from now.
> 
> if you want to yell at me you can follow me on twitter: @jjong_bluemoon 
> 
> Thank you for reading and leaving wonderful comments and kudos, it means a lot to me <333


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh man i hope you've forgiven me for last week's cliffhanger...

Yura still looked the same since Jonghyun had last seen her almost a year ago. Her hair was silky straight and jet black, but she had let her fringe grow out since, and now her hair was past her chest. She was wearing the bland grey and green uniform from the all-girl’s school a district over from Jonghyun and Jinki’s own school.

Jonghyun had met her randomly whilst skiving from school. He’d been walking through the mall, minding his own little world when he bumped into her. She had been on a lunch break with a few of her friends and Jonghyun had accidentally tipped his strawberry smoothie into her lap whilst his attention had been diverted elsewhere. He distinctly remembered her saying that she would forgive him for his accident if he bought her dinner. He agreed, because she was pretty.

The rest became history. They dated for five months before breaking up because they found it too difficult.

Since their breakup, Yura had left his mind. But now, she was here standing before him and Jinki and time had managed to cease around them. Yura’s inquisitive gaze flickered between the two of them, mildly bemused. To his side, Jonghyun could feel Jinki’s stare bore a hole into his skull, he could sense the burn of Jinki’s glare on his skin. He shivered.

“I’m on a date,” Jonghyun said after a moment. It was as if his words had broken a spell around them, time resumed itself, a gust of fresh air breathed life into the world around them. Jonghyun reached behind himself and took Jinki’s hand in his own. Jinki’s fingers tightened around his hand as he was pulled out from behind. “This is Jinki.”

“Ah, Lee Jinki,” Yura said, instantly recognising him. “I know you. You’re infamous at my school. You used to date Sojin-unnie.”

“Aah,” Jinki said and he scratched at his head with the hand that was clamped in Jonghyun’s. “Yeah… How is she?”

“She graduated,” Yura said with a precise nod. She then turned to Jonghyun. “You’re on a date with Jinki-oppa?”

“Yeah,” Jonghyun said. The more he admitted to it, the more surreal it felt. The words felt strange in his mouth but hearing Jinki affirm their relationship over and over to everyone, including Kibum and Taemin gave Jonghyun the push to do the same to his own ex.

“Sorry for interrupting you,” she then said, surprising both boys. She bowed politely and quickly hopped away to her own group of friends. Jonghyun could feel their stares on his back and from the hard look on Jinki’s face, he could feel it too.

“What do you want to do now?” Jonghyun asked.

“Are you inspired yet?” Jinki asked back, looking over at Jonghyun. His face seemed different, he seemed happy. So happy he looked like he could cry. Jonghyun felt something strange wash over him, a sense of inspiration he had never felt before. The way Jinki looked at him with the biggest smile on his face and watery eyes made him realise he didn’t need to spend so much money to go to a tourist trap just for inspiration. It had been staring him in the face the whole time.

 “Yes,” Jonghyun said wistfully. “I am.”

Jinki looked away for a moment, eyes glancing behind Jonghyun before his eyes cut back to his boyfriend’s face, his grip on Jonghyun’s hand loosened slightly. “Let’s go put a lock on the fence… Together,” he added the last meekly, lowering his head to hide behind his curly fringe.

Jonghyun’s grip on Jinki’s hand tightened, keeping him close, and he then led him away from the window towards the elevator. His heart pitter-pattered, thundering in his ears, as he felt Jinki’s fingertips rub his knuckles as they moved. He didn’t want to let go, appreciating the way they fit together like a puzzle.

They made their way back down to the ground floor and walked out in the field of colourful locks. The fence had become overrun and people were starting to place them on poles, letting them bloom into a tree of metal, cherished words, and long-forgotten promises.

Jonghyun purchased a little pack with a red lock and a pen from the reception. Jinki waited near the door, hands lanced together, feet scuffing at the ground. When Jonghyun approached him, Jinki immediately pulled himself back together and he let Jonghyun take his hand again as if it had always been that way. They walked over the bridge together to find a space.

Jinki then slipped his hand from Jonghyun’s to run to the other end of the fence.

 “Over here!” He called, waving wildly. Jonghyun jogged over to him and saw the space where Jinki was pointing. “Did you know they take some of these off after a few years?”

“How would they know which ones to take off?” Jonghyun asked, looking at Jinki. He looked even prettier in the fresh sunlight, his eyes squinting with his smile as he took the lock from Jonghyun’s hand and wrote something cryptic on one side.

“They don’t, they just take the ones that _look_ old off,” Jinki said. He handed the lock back over and then leant over the fence to take a look at the walkway beneath them.

Jonghyun didn’t know if he should feel relieved or annoyed that Jinki didn’t bother to mention their almost-kiss. For a moment, Jonghyun considered that Jinki might have been embarrassed but then Jinki stumbled, hitting his knee against a group of locks and creating a loud metallic bang that rung across the area, causing some people on the walkway underneath to look up and scowl. It didn’t seem like Jinki could be embarrassed that easily.

Or maybe he just didn’t want to bring it up because it was a mistake.

Jonghyun sighed as he scrawled his and Jinki’s name down and then in crude English, wrote down a phrase that had been stuck in his mind since the moment he arrived at the tower.

He didn’t realise Jinki had moved and was now watching over his shoulder until his arm came around and pointed at the phrase. “What does this say?” He asked, resting his chin on Jonghyun’s shoulder.

“ _I wanna be with you_ ,” Jonghyun replied. When Jinki gave him a surprised and almost pleased look, Jonghyun then explained: “It’s a line from a song I’ve been trying to write.”

Jinki’s expression fell a little, his eyes turned downcast. “What’s it called?” He asked as Jonghyun clipped the lock onto a free space and smiled at their names, winking back at them from amongst all the colourful pieces of metal.

“It doesn’t have a name yet,” Jonghyun answered. “Maybe one day it will.”

“Maybe you should name it after me,” Jinki suggested with a cheeky grin and Jonghyun chuckled. Maybe he would consider it for a moment. Jinki’s smile turned sweet, almost serene, and it had Jonghyun’s mouth turning dry. Funny, it didn’t used to make him feel that way.

“So, shall we get some food now?” Jinki asked, looking up at the sky. It was getting late into the evening, but the sun was staying up, keeping the summer lasting a little longer. It winked and sparkled over the city horizon as the stripes of pinks, purples, oranges began to melt together like ice cream.

“Sure,” Jonghyun agreed, feeling his heart get weaker and weaker with every sunny smile Jinki sent his way. His heart flipped again, in that funny way it had earlier during music class, when Jinki took his hand again, curling his fingers around Jonghyun’s in a protective way. And then he pulled Jonghyun forward until their noses were almost touching.

“Before that girl interrupted us,” Jinki said. “What were you going to do?”

Jonghyun blinked. “I er…”

“Were you going to kiss me?”

Jonghyun could remember the echo of Minho’s warning. Jinki didn’t let anyone kiss him, so he shouldn’t even true.

“N-no,” he stuttered, trying to avoid Jinki’s intense gaze. It was concerning how Jinki’s gaze could make him feel so open and vulnerable and safe at the same time. It felt as if Jinki could read him so easily.

Jinki dropped the situation quickly and let go of Jonghyun’s hand. For a moment Jonghyun wondered if he had done something wrong but then Jinki’s arm looped around his small waist and it felt a million times better than a simple hand-holding. Jonghyun did the same, feeling Jinki’s slight waist under his fingertips. Weird, he didn’t usually look as small as he felt underneath all of his uniforms.  

Together they walked down towards the main street to enjoy some freshly fried street food. Jonghyun was suddenly craving something sweet, something like hotteok.

* * *

It felt useless. It _was_ useless. Jonghyun ripped another page out of his notebook, scrunched it into a ball and threw it off the roof top, hearing it thump against the pavement below. It was Friday already and he was sitting on the roof alone. No Minho, no Kibum, no Jinki.

Not that Kibum or Jinki would join him, but that was beside the point.

He scratched at his head and wrote the line again. “ _Beside them_ ,” he sang aloud as he scrawled it down. “ _Forever by their side, after I make a place for myself…_ ”

He sighed and bit at his pencil in frustration. He could remember Jinki so clearly, bathed in the light of the evening, sunlight twinkling in the highlights of his brown hair and yet he still couldn’t write a single word. All he could think of was the way Jinki had looked at him after Yura had left. The question if he should have told Jinki that Yura was his ex had been itching at him all night long. He’d barely gotten a wink of sleep.

He yawned and rubbed his eyes and then read back the line he had just written and hummed to himself as he through of line to accompany the previous one. As he faded away into his own world of music, thinking about how pretty Jinki was when he was mesmerised by something, how beautiful he looked that he had Jonghyun’s breath trapped in the palm of his hand, ripped from his chest.

“ _I’ll change into a man, not a friend_ ,” he sang, writing down the consecutive line. It was true, he wanted to be more than whatever Jinki saw him as. Sure, he called Jonghyun his boyfriend, but did that necessarily mean that was how he saw him?

And suddenly, why did it bother him so much if that wasn’t how Jinki saw him?

The school bell rang and he heard the flood of students emerge from their barricade of the school. It must have been lunch time as he could hear some students talk about heading to the cafeteria or the homeroom to eat. The roof door swung open and Jonghyun didn’t look up.

“Minho, don’t think I’ve forgotten about you ditching me,” Jonghyun said as he grabbed an eraser from his back pack and rubbed out a line that suddenly didn’t fit with the rest of the song in the first verse.

“I’m not Minho,” Jinki said and Jonghyun actually did tear his eyes away from his notebook to look up. He was stood with something behind his back and a shy smile on his face.

 _How cute_.

“Jinki, hey,” Jonghyun said, shifting aside as Jinki took a seat beside him, pulling out the surprise behind his back. It was a neatly wrapped lunch box.

“My mum and I made lunch for us today,” Jinki said softly. He untied the silk scarf’s knot, letting the fabric fall open to reveal a basic blue two-tiered lunch box. He opened the top box to reveal an array of colours from carrots to cherry tomatoes to fried chicken and even egg rolls. He then took the top layer off to reveal a whole bottom layer of white, steamed rice seasoned with salt and black sesame seeds.

“It looks so good,” Jonghyun said, salivating. “Can we eat?”

“If you get me a juice first,” Jinki said with a twinkle in his eye. Jonghyun saluted his boyfriend and hopped over Jinki’s legs and all but ran to the vending machine. He grabbed two boxes of orange juice and ran back as quickly as he could, ducking and weaving through students having conversations in the hallway. Jinki looked up guiltily, his mouth full of something, when Jonghyun returned.

“What are you eating?”

“I just had a tomato,” Jinki said with an apologetic shrug. “Sorry.”

“You’re lucky you’re cute,” Jonghyun said before he could even think about the implication of his words. Jinki ceased his chewing, his eyes bugging out of his face. “I mean!”

Jinki began to laugh, bringing his hand up to his face to hide his mouth as he laughed loudly. Jonghyun frowned at Jinki for a moment before he cracked. He let himself laugh along with Jinki, falling against Jinki’s shoulder as they shook with secretive laughter. It wasn’t the kind of laughter that left you with aching sides and teary eyes, but the kind of laughter than left you feeling fuller and more whole than you had before.

It’d been a long while since he’d laughed like that and when he had finished, Jinki offered him a piece of fried chicken, which he took with a grateful smile.

“I’m busy this weekend,” Jinki then said. He turned to look down at his feet and then wiggled them. Jonghyun watched them dance for a minute before glancing at Jinki’s face. “I’m babysitting my cousin.”

“Oh…” Jonghyun said, hoping he didn’t sound as disappointed as he felt. Jinki looked over to Jonghyun’s notebook curiously and Jonghyun shut it closed before Jinki could see anything incriminating. It was embarrassing enough to be writing a sappy love song, it would be worse if Jinki knew it was about him.

“Do you want to help me?” Jinki then said, popping another tomato between his lips and chewing. “They say two heads are better than one and he’s become a bit of a handful since he turned three.”

Jonghyun pondered for a moment. He had two choices: he could spend the day doing some homework and then hang out with Minho and watch, helplessly, as his best friend destroyed and crushed him at an array of games (physical and virtual) or hang out with Jinki for a whole day.

It seemed too obvious.

“I’d love to help you.”

“Thanks!” Jinki said, taking Jonghyun’s hand and squeezing it. “I appreciate it. I’ll reward you later, too.”

Jonghyun swallowed thickly, throat turning dry. Did that mean what he thought it meant? Was he hopeful it did?

When Jinki hummed as he spooned some rice into his mouth, wiggling back and forth as he savoured the taste, the realisation hit Jonghyun like a freight train.

The almost kiss, the fact he can’t take his eyes off of Jinki, the _song_.

He was falling in love with Lee Jinki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... because I've left you with another one!!!
> 
> Ta-da! We're ten chapters in and Jonghyun has realised his feelings for Jinki.  
> I apologise for my mega late update this week. I'm trying to cram four months of work into two but hopefully when May is over, i'll be back on track (why may? that's when my course ends ;;).
> 
> If you want to be up to date as to when I update (and when I don't) you can follow my twitter: @jjong_bluemoon
> 
> ANYWAY! I hope you liked this chapter and i hope the wait wasn't too long or too agonising. Thank you for all the comments and kudos and bookmarks you've been giving this fic, i'll be honest and say I didn't expect this fic to do as well as it is doing but i'm glad you're all enjoying reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it last year haha!
> 
> Have a great weekend everyone, I shall DEFINITELY see you on Wednesday (this is a promise.) next week <33333


	11. Chapter 11

Jinki walked Jonghyun home that afternoon. His touch still lingered on Jonghyun’s skin as their hands slipped away from each other, he could still feel the way Jinki’s fingers fit between his own. Jonghyun stayed out to watch Jinki walk away, letting the softest sigh he had ever made fall from his own mouth. Then, when Jinki turned the corner, he bounded straight over to Minho’s house. He climbed over the gate, his school shoes scrambling to grip to the white-washed wood and then he climbed up the trellis – that housed Minho’s mother’s prized imported flowers - up to Minho’s bedroom.

He banged his palm against the glass incessantly until Minho opened up and Jonghyun heaved himself up and over the sill, tumbling ungracefully onto Minho’s bed.

“What the hell are you doing?” Minho asked. He was half dressed - white shirt wide open and jeans unbuttoned and unzipped. Jonghyun slapped a hand over his eyes. “ _Dude_.”

“I’ll give you your privacy, man,” Jonghyun said, waving his other hand in a general direction. He heard Minho sigh and the soft crumple of clothes falling to the floor. Then a tight grip on his wrist yanked his hand from his eyes and Minho was miraculously dressed in a t-shirt and jeans in under a minute.

“What’s going on? It must be urgent for you to come up the back way,” Minho said, kicking his school clothes off the floor up into his arms. He dumped them into his wash basket, ready for the weekend, and sat at his desk.

“So, you remember a couple of weeks ago you asked what I would do if I fell for Jinki, right?” Jonghyun said quickly and Minho blinked, processing what had been thrown at him. In fairness, Jonghyun wasn’t great with sharing his feelings and his confession at the start of the week had been pretty much breaching his usual comfort zone.

“Yeah…” Minho said slowly, catching up. “I do… Why?”

“Well,” Jonghyun shuffled around on Minho’s bed and grabbed one of his cushions and placed it on his lap. He then toyed with the tassel on the end and bit on his lip. “Well, I like Jinki, okay?”

Minho clapped his hands together and then pressed them to his chin in thought. “You like Jinki-hyung.”

“Yes.”

“Even though you said you wouldn’t fall for him,” Minho concluded. He remembered very clearly, it seemed. Jonghyun swallowed thickly.

“Yes,” he said, his tone getting quieter and quieter. “What do I do?”

Minho shrugged. “I don’t know, I’ve been in the exact opposite of your situation,” he explained. “By this point in my relationship with Jinki I was figuring out that what I felt for him probably wasn’t romantic interest but I was still unsure. You, however, my dude, have fucked yourself because that means this month is going to end badly.”

Jonghyun groaned and fell back onto his bed. “What do I do, Minho? I’ve never felt like this about anyone! I can’t stop staring at him and everything he does is so cool and interesting. Like, the kendo thing! Who would’ve guess he took kendo!?”

Minho chuckled. “Everyone. He’s really well known for it.”

Jonghyun pressed the cushion into his face. Maybe if he suffocated here and now he wouldn’t have to face his feelings. Minho walked over and pulled the cushion from his face and gave him a disconcerting look. It was no use, he’d still have to face his feelings somehow.

“He’s invited me to meet his family tomorrow,” Jonghyun said. Minho tossed the cushion to the other side of the room. He sat back down.

“Oh, wow!” Minho awed. “I never met his family once. He met my mum a bunch of times.”

“So, what?” Jonghyun grabbed the pillow from behind his head and flung it towards Minho, who caught it and pelted it back at him with extra force. The pillow ricocheted off of Jonghyun’s stomach and bounced onto the floor.

“Oof!” Jonghyun groaned, clutching his abdomen.

“Yeah, I hope that hurts,” Minho teased. “Anyway, I don’t mean anything by it but… it’s probably a good sign that Jinki’s invited you to meet his family.”

“You think?”

“Well, it’s not a _bad_ sign, is it?”

Jonghyun couldn’t decide if Minho was technically right and instead remained silent, letting it contaminate the room so that only the ticking of Minho’s football-shaped wall clock filled the air. Minho tapped at his desk and Jonghyun could almost make out the cogs grinding away in his head as he tried to formulate an additional response. Jonghyun opened his mouth to say something, anything, when Minho’s mother knocked on the door and then ultimately barged in without permission.

“Minho, dinner- Oh, Jonghyun, I didn’t see you come in,” she said with a polite but tense smile. “I hope you didn’t come up the trellis.”

“Of course not, Ms Choi,” Jonghyun said as an outright lie. Minho hid his smile as best he could and it was obvious from the way Ms Choi stared at him with a tight, straight mouth that she didn’t believe him.

“Are you staying for dinner?”

“Cannot, my mum’s cooking tonight,” Jonghyun declined, sitting up and planting his feet on the floor. “Thank you for the invite though.”

Ms Choi let Jonghyun walk past her with a pleasant and stern smile. She then turned to Minho with a sharp idea on her tongue. “Whatever happened to that lovely boy you brought home a few weeks ago? Lee Jinki, did you say his name was? Why don’t you invite him over for dinner next week?”

“Jinki-hyung is busy with kendo tournaments next week, Mom,” Minho lied smoothly. Jonghyun wondered, watching the interaction between mother and son, if Ms Choi actually knew the extent of Minho and Jinki’s relationship or was she just oblivious to her own son’s sexuality. He then pondered how she’d react if she knew that Jonghyun was the reason Jinki was no longer her honoured house guest.

“Oh, that’s a shame,” she said with a sigh. She nearly sagged against the door frame, folding her arms. “He was so polite and nice.”

“I better go,” Jonghyun called over Ms Choi’s shoulder, giving Minho a wave. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow after _the thing_ ,” he continued cryptically.

“What thing?” Minho asked, tilting his head to the side.

“You know,” Jonghyun pressed. _God, he was hard work_. “ _The thing_!”

“Oh!” Minho then understood and grinned. “ _The thing_ ,” he said with a suggestive nod and it was all Jonghyun needed to flip him off behind his mother’s back before bounding down the stairs. As he made his way to the door, Sooyoung appeared out of the living room, nose buried in her phone.

She glanced up, giving Jonghyun a brief glance and he wasn’t even an inch away from the door when he heard her gasp. He slammed the front door behind him and ran across the road, hands tucked into his trouser pockets. He managed to get halfway across the road when the door swung open and Sooyoung yelled across the street: “Jonghyun! Why didn’t you tell me you were here!?”

Jonghyun waved her off, not even turning to grace her with a formal look. He never went over there to see her anyway, Sooyoung just seemed to believe he did.

* * *

Jonghyun smoothed down his best plaid shirt tucked into his only clean pair of dark wash jeans as he took in some deep breaths before knocking on Jinki’s door. The morning was bright and sunny, not a cloud in the sky but from behind the door all Jonghyun could hear was claps of disastrous thunder.

The door swung open and Jinki greeted him with frazzled curly hair and a worn out smile. “Hey, I’m glad you’re here… My cousin is being…”

A high pitched scream came from inside and both Jinki and Jonghyun had to take a moment to react as it cut through their hearing like a sharp knife. “Oh wow,” Jonghyun said, rubbing at his ear. “Those are some lungs.”

“Yeah,” Jinki said breathless. “Come in.” He opened the door a little wider and Jonghyun stepped inside, taking his shoes off and then hovering awkwardly in the foyer. “You can go in,” Jinki said, circling his arm around Jonghyun’s waist like had at Namsan and led him into the living room where three adults, one child, and a Joon sat in tandem conversation.

“Oh, hey it’s Jongdong!” Joon said from the ottoman, he was holding a child’s toy, trying to entice the infant that was sprawled across a colourful mat.

“Jong _hyun_ ,” Jonghyun corrected through gritted teeth.

“Jong-who?” A woman said, turning around on the sofa to face the doorway. “Jinki, who is this strange boy?”

“This is Jonghyun,” Jinki said, pushing Jonghyun forward. Under the scrutiny of the whole room, Jonghyun felt very underdressed and he tugged at his shirt sleeves for comfort. “He’s my boyfriend.”

“Oh, this is the boyfriend!” One of the other adults said, another woman but this one younger than the first. Jonghyun assumed from her slouchy cardigan and leggings that she was the toddler’s mother.

“I’ve not heard of a boyfriend,” the only man in the room said. He stood up and pulled his trousers up before sizing Jonghyun up with his eyes. “I’m Haekyong,” the man introduced himself, holding a hand out for Jonghyun to take. “But you will call me Mr Lee.”

“Of course, Mr Lee,” Jonghyun said, shaking the man’s hand and then bowing. He didn’t quite know how to act in front of all these strangers and Joon, from the fox-like grin curling on his face, was enjoying every second of his awkward disposition.

“Yoogeunnie, look who’s back!” The toddler’s mother then said, pointing to the doorway. Mr Lee excused himself to make the family another round of drinks. “It’s Jinki-hyung!”

“Hyung!” The toddler called out in the soft, squeaky voice a child always held. Jonghyun watched with an adoring smile as the little three year old picked himself up and immediately ran towards Jinki.

Time seemed to slow to a crawl as Jonghyun watched on in misjudged horror as Yoogeun gravely underestimated his distance from Jinki and ended up head-first into Jonghyun’s crotch. The room fell silent as Jonghyun fell down, clutching his front as every last breath was expelled from his lungs in a grunt. He ended up curled in the foetal position as the searing pain ran up and down his spine and tingled in his nerves.

“Oh, my God!” He heard Joon chortle and he felt Jinki fall to his knees beside him.

“Yoogeunnie, that wasn’t very nice,” Yoogeun’s mother said in that chiding-but-not-really tone of voice. Yoogeun looked over at his mother and began to cry big fat tears from being told off. “Oh, come here baby.” Jonghyun registered the sound of pounding footsteps running away from him.

“Jonghyun, are you okay?” Jinki asked, rubbing up and down his sides.

“Jinki,” Jonghyun whispered with watery eyes. “Will you marry me?”

Jinki laughed gently. “I think you’ll be okay if you can make jokes.”

“That was hilarious!” Joon jeered from the other end of room. “He really went down!”

Jonghyun looked up and across the living room towards Joon and gave him a scathing glare but it was deflected with a smug smile. “Why is he here?”

Jinki smiled softly. “He’s like family. I’ve known him all my life.  Joonie, be nice.”

“Sure. Are your balls okay, Jongdong?”

“Joonie!” Jinki’s mother scolded.

“What?”

Mr Lee returned with two cups of coffee and took one look at Jonghyun on the floor and then looked over at his wife. “Yoogeun?”

“Yoogeun.”

“Do you need some ice, son?” Mr Lee asked, handing his wife and sister-in-law their coffees.

“No, I’m okay,” Jonghyun croaked, shakily getting to his feet.

Yoogeun’s mother glanced at her wristwatch as she cradled her sobbing son. “I need to get going if I’m going to get to work on time,” she announced. She gave her small son a kiss to his crown and then set him down on the sofa next to her. The kid peeked over at Jonghyun warily. Jonghyun returned the look by sticking out his tongue at him. Yoogeun smiled. Jonghyun felt Jinki take his hand and squeeze it gently.

“I was planning on taking him to the Grand Park down Neung-dong,” Yoogeun’s mother continued, standing up and stretching. “Can you manage that?” She directed her question to Jinki, and in relativity, Jonghyun.

“Uh… what?” Jinki asked taken by surprise. As the conversation grew between Jinki and his aunt, with his mother diving in to add her two cents, Jonghyun found himself entertaining Yoogeun in a bid to cheer him up. The toddler crept out of his shell and began gesturing to the chain around his neck. Jonghyun tugged on it. It was a small cross his grandmother had given him when he finished elementary school and it used to be a lot longer in length. Yoogeun seemed fascinated by the gold detailing and reached out to grab it again.

“Right, Jonghyun?” Jinki suddenly said and he was back in the living room with five pairs of eyes set on him, hungry for his blood, or perhaps just his answer.

“Right,” Jonghyun said without any real awareness to what he had agreed on.

“See, that’s why we can’t take him out anywhere. I was expecting to be watching him at home,” Jinki concluded.

“That’s not fair, Jinki,” Jinki’s mother argued. She and her husband both stood up, and Jonghyun realised they were all dressed up to go somewhere not here. “You can work on your project tomorrow but poor Yoogeun is going to be bored out of his mind if he’s stuck in the house all day. Besides, it’s not like we ask you to do it all the time, you only see Yoogeun once a month.”

At the mention of his name the toddler looked over to his auntie and smiled his baby-toothed grin. His auntie cooed at him and gave him a small cheeky wave, to which Yoogeun received with a delighted gurgle.

“You can take Joon with you too,” Mr Lee said, nodding his head to the slacker sitting on the ottoman, watching the argument like a tennis match. At the mention of his name, he sat up straight and nodded his head.

“No, it’s okay, Jonghyun and I can handle it,” Jinki sighed.

“Aw, don’t you want to spend any time with me, Jinx?” Joon asked from the ottoman.

“You can come if you want, but are you sure you want to be a third wheel,” Jinki teased and Joon rolled his eyes.

“Come on Jonghyun,” Jinki said, standing up and holding his hand out for him to take. Jonghyun slipped his hand into it and the familiarity lit his heart on fire, melting away any of the residual pain from being punted in the crotch earlier. “Yooguennie, do you want to go the park?”

“Yep!” Yoogeun called out. He then struggled to crawl off the sofa, short stubby legs hovering over the hardwood floor. Jinki picked him up and led him out to the foyer where all of his outdoor stuff was waiting. As Jonghyun followed after him, he heard Joon say to someone:

“In case you’re wondering. He’s the Jonghyun Jinki wouldn’t stop talking about in middle school.”

“ _He’s_ the Jonghyun?” That same someone with a high pitched voice questioned. “He’s not what I expected at all.”

The disappointment laced in that person’s voice burnt at Jonghyun’s heart, heat prickling over his neck and ears, and he found himself thinking he’d take Yoogeun running head-first into his crotch over hearing that voice again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today's been a weird day...
> 
> I have three assignments to do before my course finishes in May and I was planning on getting two Jongyu fics finished so I could open a poll for you guys to choose which one I would post next but I've lost my train of motivation to write the second one so I'm wrestling with the idea of taking a hiatus after this fic is done and then maybe come back with the poll? Or maybe I'll just post the one completed one and hope that I'll have finished the other one by the time that fic is over....
> 
> ANYWAY! Once again, I want to thank every single one of you for commenting and leaving kudos. I will admit your reactions make the struggle of writing and studying and working all the more worth it so thank you <3333
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter. We finally have a bit of progress. But what did Joon mean??? HMMMMM we shall find out soon enough!!!!!
> 
> Thanks again, y'all!  
> Have a great week <3333


	12. Chapter 12

It felt strange, a sense of sickening realisation settling at the pit of his stomach. Jinki had talked about him, Kim Jonghyun, to both Joon and his family during middle school and Jonghyun had no idea that Jinki had even paid any attention to his presence until the day Jonghyun asked him out. He wondered, as he glanced over at Jinki, if Jinki held him to any expectations. Jinki’s attention was split between sharing alternating glances with his melting strawberry ice cream and watching, safe-guarding, Yoogeun as he played in the sandpit just a few feet away.

“You keep staring at me,” Jinki then said, turning to Jonghyun face on. Oops.

Jonghyun immediately looked away from Jinki and instead focused on his own dripping ice cream, watching as green droplets rolled down and over his wrist. He licked them away, smacking his lips at the taste of pistachio.

“Am I?” He then asked, feigning innocence. He glanced through his periphery as Jinki smiled warmly and looked away, biting on his lower lip.

“Yeah… Do I have something on my face?”

 _If you did, I’d lick it off for you_ , Jonghyun thought. He then balked at himself, _steady there._

“Ah yeah,” he then lied, and he rubbed at the corner of his mouth. Jinki mimicked his actions, checking the pads of his fingers for any ice cream. “You got it.” Jinki then sucked on his fingers and Jonghyun immediately cut his eyes from Jinki’s face to his ice cream.

A short shriek ended the boys moment alone immediately and and they immediately zeroed over to the sand pit where Yoogeun sat, cheeks red and bottom lip jutted out, whilst in front of him stood an older boy holding onto the red sand bucket Jinki had brought for Yoogeun to play with.

“Myungsoo!” A woman immediately stormed over and snatched the bucket out of the child’s hand. “That was his toy. Now, apologise.”

“Excuse me,” Jinki said, handing his strawberry ice cream over to Jonghyun and taking a stand. He walked over to the sand pit and began to reason with the angry mother. Jonghyun watched with a smile as Jinki gestured between the two children, offering that they both play with the bucket and the mother apologised as Yoogeun cried big, fat tears of injustice.

It was wrapped up rather quickly, with the two boys building a sandcastle, Myungsoo helping Yoogeun with a bossy and fulfilled smile and the mother sinking back onto the bench she had been occupying previously, a hand to her forehead. Jinki walked back over, stumbling in the sand briefly, to Jonghyun with a bright smile.

“That was pretty cool,” Jonghyun said, handing Jinki his ice cream back.

“Thanks,” Jinki said and he quietly began to eat again. “Hey, can I ask you something weird?”

Jonghyun felt his skin freeze over, despite the fact that his ice cream was warm enough to melt all over his hand. He stiffly turned to Jinki, who looked at him bemused. “Sure…”

“Don’t look so panicked,” Jinki laughed, eyes crinkling into crescents. “I was just curious if you knew if Minho was interested in Kibum?”

“In which way?” Jonghyun asked, tilting his head slightly.

“You know,” Jinki explained shyly, looking down at his feet. When he looked back up, his eyes were round. “If Minho liked Kibum…”

Jonghyun blinked hard. If Minho did like Kibum, he definitely hadn’t said anything… but considering Jonghyun had no idea Minho had been interested in Jinki until the very final moment, it was likely that Minho did harbour something for Kibum. “Um…”

“It’s just…” Jinki trailed off, looking up at the sky. “Never mind. What would you do if you liked someone?”

“Ask them out,” Jonghyun said immediately. Jinki looked at him with strange eyes and Jonghyun felt his skin heat up, prickling like sharp needles, and he told himself it was just the sun.

“I see,” Jinki said, lips fusing shut and he glared at his own ice cream for a long awkward moment before eating it again.

* * *

The day ended smoothly, Yoogeun saying goodbye to his new friend. He took Jinki’s hand and even demanded that Jonghyun hold the other one. As they walked home from the train station, Jinki and Jonghyun swung Yoogeun back and forth, laughing every time he asked for more.

When they reached Jinki’s home, Yoogeun immediately ran inside to eat and Jinki remained outside to continue talking to Jonghyun. Staring at the door over Jinki’s shoulder, all Jonghyun could think about was the awkward introduction with Jinki’s family earlier in the day.

“Your friend, Joon,” Jonghyun said, taking in a breath. “He’s an ass. You do know that, right?”

Jinki chuckled behind his hand and nodded. “Yeah, I’m sorry about him. He’s not usually like that… But, he’s also never met any of my dates before so I guess he doesn’t know how to act.”

It left a hole in his stomach to hear Jinki talk about his previous relationships so casually. He wondered if he would become the next notch in Jinki’s book, and then he began to guess which number he could be. 20? 50?

Jinki exhaled deeply and tucked his hands behind his back before swinging back and forth on the balls of his feet. “Thanks for today,” he said with a smile. “It was nice to just hang out.”

“That ice cream place was nice, we should go back there,” Jonghyun suggested with his trademark grin. Jinki stopped swinging and ran a hand through his hair.

Two weeks left.

“Yeah, we should,” Jinki said shakily. It left an uncomfortable silence between them and Jonghyun’s eyes trailed over everything, the windows of the house to the vintage floral curtains in the living room down to the well-kept and loved garden with an array of flowers splattered around like an artist’s palette.

“So…”

“So…” Jonghyun repeated after Jinki. “I think I’m going home.”

“Are you sure?” Jinki then asked unprompted. He hadn’t seem eager for Jonghyun to stay earlier but now his whole demeanour had changed. He gestured to the door. “My mum always makes tonnes of food whenever family comes over so there would be plenty for you to eat too…” He offered with a squinted smile.

 _Take it, take it_! He could hear Minho yell in the back of his head. How often would he get a chance to sit and talk with Jinki’s family? This might actually be his only chance, with it being only two weeks left. “Nah, it’s okay. I have some stuff to do… You know, the music project.”

“Oh yeah, how is that coming?” Jinki asked, leaning up against the gate. Jonghyun scuffed his feet on the pavement with a shy smile.

“It’s going… well…”

“I’d like to hear it sometime… You know, before you show it to Miss Kwon and everyone else,” Jinki said. A cool breeze interrupted the flow of the conversation and Jonghyun rubbed at his arm as he felt hairs stick up against the cold.

“I should go…”

“Thanks for today, again,” Jinki said. Jonghyun was ready to leave, just turning on his feet when a hand on his shoulder stopped him. As he turned to look back a pair of lips fell on his cheek, carefully. They touched just at the corner of his mouth and his lips twitched involuntarily. Jonghyun fell silent and still, even long after Jinki had stopped kissing him and had disappeared inside.

After a moment, he raised his hand to touch the corner of his mouth where Jinki’s lips had been only mere minutes before. With a whimsical smile on his face, he kicked aside a pebble and made his way down the street.

“Hey, Jonghyun,” a voice called out to him from the house next door and Jonghyun stopped, glancing around wildly. “It’s just me,” Joon said, stepping out through the door.

“What do you want?” Jonghyun asked, feeling the elation from Jinki’s kiss drain away from his heart. Joon approached the gate and leant against it casually.

“I just want to warn you about Jinki,” he said. “He’s sensitive and has a fragile heart. I don’t know what you want to do with him but… If you hurt him, I’ll make sure you regret it.”

Joon’s face was serious and Jonghyun gulped. He’d never seen what genuine dislike had looked like on another person and it stung. Joon was staring at him as if he were an insect hell bent on destroying Jinki’s life.

“I won’t hurt him,” Jonghyun said.

“Good,” Joon said. He then turned on his heels and began to walk back into his house.

“Um,” Jonghyun then started, before cursing himself. Joon stopped just outside his door and turned to look back at Jonghyun. “Do you like Jinki?”

Joon gave him a weird look, it was complex in the way that Jonghyun couldn’t read. His eyes seemed sad but his lips turn upwards into a smirk. “Even if I did,” Joon said, breathing in. “It wouldn’t matter. He’s never had eyes for me.”

“Then who?”

Joon gave him another unreadable look, this one more serious and final that his previous expression. He then walked into his house without a goodbye. As soon as the door closed, Jonghyun exhaled and clutched at his chest, unaware that his heart had been pounding since the moment Joon had said his name.

He’d even said it correctly.

Which worried Jonghyun even more.

* * *

Minho had been no help when Jonghyun had gotten home.

And Monday came around quickly.

Once again they were on the roof, Jonghyun smoking and Minho ingesting another two cans of an unbranded energy drink, both ignoring the other.

It hadn’t meant to happen this way, Jonghyun had gone over to Minho’s after his date with Jinki and had told him everything that had happened, omitting Joon’s threat, and instead of offering any form of advice, Minho had just burst into peals of obnoxious laughter, ranting about how oblivious the pair were being.

Frustrated and a little put out, Jonghyun took a low blow and brought Kibum into the conversation. This had caused Minho to stop laughing almost instantly and start accusing Jonghyun of things he couldn’t possibly know! The two had threw words and accusations at each other before punches were thrown and Jonghyun was on Minho’s bed being wrestled with by his best friend until he apologised – which he, of course, didn’t.

They were separated by Minho’s mother and Jonghyun was sent home until the two could learn to play nicely, and by nicely, Minho’s mother explained, without any bleeding noses (Minho) and split lips (Jonghyun).

They didn’t speak at all over Sunday, which gave Jonghyun plenty of time to write out the rest of his song.

And then Monday had come and here they were in comfortable silence with apologises unspoken and unwritten but known between them.

“Hey, so…” Minho began. “I swiped these.” He pulled out two lollipops. “You should stop smoking, dude.”

Jonghyun took one look at the sweet and then at his burning stick in his fingers and shrugged. He continued to smoke. “Maybe, but, I enjoy it.”

“You’ll ruin that angelic voice of yours,” Minho teased and Jonghyun snorted. “We’re cool, right?”

“Of course,” Jonghyun said, staring at his friend incredulously. Minho had the hardest exterior Jonghyun had ever seen but his centre was soft and gooey – like caramel. Minho was the kind to get wrapped up in a fight, spit insults, and then apologise two seconds later if someone’s feelings got a little too hurt.

That’s just how he was and Jonghyun loved him for it.

“Do you think Kibum actually likes me?” Minho then asked, unprompted and Jonghyun choked on his exhale. Smoke flew out of his mouth and nose in short bursts, like toxic clouds. “He always seems aloof…”

“Yeah, well, sometimes that’s a protective barrier people like Kibum put on themselves,” Jonghyun offered as insight. “I wouldn’t think much of it.”

“Should I ask him out?” Minho then asked suddenly and Jonghyun sat up straight.

“You want to ask him out?”

“Well… he is cute…” Minho murmured. “Do you think about kissing Jinki all the time?”

“Pretty much,” Jonghyun admitted, shrugging his shoulders. “Why? Do you think that about Kibum?”

Minho nodded. And then added: “Among other things.”

“Oh, dude!” Jonghyun grimaced before laughing. Minho smirked and laughed through his nose. They both sat in silence for a moment. Minho pulled his lollipop from his mouth.

“I don’t know if I should tell you this but Jinki was asking me weird things over the weekend.”

“Like what?” Jonghyun asked, giving Minho a side glance. Minho inhaled deeply and then sighed loudly.

“Well, he was asking about some girl you met up with at Namsan last week… He wanted to know who she was because you seemed rather put-out by her presence. When he described her I knew exactly who it was. So… I told him.”

Jonghyun squeezed his eyes shut.

“Why didn’t you tell him who Yura-noona was?” Minho asked, the edge to his tone accusatory. Jonghyun opened his eyes.

“I just didn’t think it was that important. It’s not like I was in love with her.”

“She’s your ex, dude.”

“So?” Jonghyun countered. He dragged on his cigarette for a long second, exhaling the purplish-grey smoke into the air. “How did he react when you told him?”

“He just accepted it,” Minho said slowly. “Honestly, the whole ordeal was weird. Why didn’t he ask you?”

Jonghyun shook his head. “I don’t know…” He leant his head back against the wall. “You don’t think he knows I like him?”

Instead of answering, Minho laughed quietly. “I guess we’re both fucked, huh?”

It wasn’t funny, to be in love and not be able to do anything about it either out of fear or obligation. If Jinki knew how Jonghyun felt, suddenly the reason for Jonghyun dating him would be gone, void of existence. He loved being around Jinki, he loved every ticking second where he was with Jinki, either talking or just sitting in silence. But then the minutes grew shorter, and his time with Jinki was coming to an end.

Maybe it was for the better, Jonghyun supposed. Maybe if he wasn’t dating Jinki anymore, the feelings would go away.

“Do you really think that?” Minho asked, sucking his lollipop back into his mouth.

Before Jonghyun could answer, the roof door opened and slammed shut with that familiar metallic ring. Kibum turned the corner and slumped onto the floor next to Minho. “Don’t ask,” he said to Jonghyun, who just watched him with wide eyes. “You got one of those for me?” Kibum asked Minho, eyeing the lollipop with those sharp eyes.

“Sure,” Minho said, giving him Jonghyun’s. Jonghyun let out an indignant noise and Minho shrugged. “Stop smoking then.”

Kibum only laughed as he pulled the wrapper off his lollipop and sucked it between his lips. Jonghyun sighed and leaned back.

“What do you think of these lyrics?” Jonghyun then asked, pulling out his notebook. “It’s for an assignment.”

Both Kibum and Minho looked over at him with identical expressions of vague interest. Jonghyun cleared his throat and stubbed out his cigarette, hearing the ash hiss against the concrete. He flicked the butt off the roof, letting it hand somewhere in forage.

“ _They’re crying over there with their head buried in their knees. I take out a handkerchief from my pocket and hand it to them: Forget him, you’ll forget about him, believe me.”_

Minho’s head swayed back and forth with the tune and Kibum had closed his eyes as Jonghyun continued.

“ _Like that, I comforted them and told them: “Now, meet someone who’ll only look at you_ ”.”

A smile cracked along Minho’s face and he opened one eye to stare at Jonghyun. “You wrote this about Jinki-hyung, didn’t you?”

Kibum immediately became interested, leaning forward on his folded legs, staring at Jonghyun with such intensity he was certain to spontaneously combust.

“No!” Jonghyun immediately said and Minho raised a brow.

“Really?” He questioned, leaning across and snatching the notebook. He read through a few extra lyrics that Jonghyun hadn’t sung aloud and awed under his breath. Jonghyun could feel his internal temperature rise to an uncomfortable degree – Minho knowing, he could handle, but Kibum knowing his feelings for Jinki could prove to be troublesome.

“Give it back!” Jonghyun snatched the book back and slapped it shut, tucking it close to his chest. “Don’t just take personal belongings.”

Minho, wide eyes and open mouth, apologised quietly and Kibum did the same.

The bell rung and like that, the morning was over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i meeeeeeean it's not a /kiss/ but it's a kiss on the cheek so it's better than nothing??
> 
> yes so, early update this week! Surprise! I'm getting ahead on my college work so I decided to update today. I'll also be updating on Friday to open and close the week. The final chapter will be posted on the followed Wednesday, the 13th. 
> 
> As for other stories... I shall be taking a hiatus until either the end of May, or till all of my assignments are complete and ready to be sent off to my tutor. I can't say that'll not be at the same time tho...  
> I shall let you know what my next story will be when I start posting again in the final chapter.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this soft lil chapter. Minkey is playing a bigger part than i originally planned but i can't say i'm against this shift in plot. I'm kinda falling for minkey a little bit so i'll also be writing a few minkey fics in the near future too!
> 
> To close off, I want to thank you all for each and every comment and kudos. You guys are awesome and I really hope you're enjoying the closing conclusion to this fic! (it's a long conclusion)
> 
> Have a great week guys, I'll see you on Friday for a very exciting chapter ;) Take care <3


	13. Chapter 13

Wednesday afternoon brought rain but Jinki had been prepared, holding up an umbrella for him and Jonghyun to share as they walked to Jonghyun’s house. A question lingered between them, it played on Jonghyun’s lips every time he looked over at his boyfriend. Jinki seemed unaware, humming along to his composition piece for Miss Kwon’s class and not really thinking of the steps he was taking along the pavement.

His shoe landed in a deep puddle, soaking his grey trousers midway up his calf.

“Oh,” he said, staring down at his newly black trouser leg. “Well.”

Jonghyun stared at Jinki’s leg for an absurd amount of time, thinking of ways he could use this to his advantage. It took a ridiculous amount of time for him to think of his best solution: “Want to dry off at mine? You can borrow a pair of jeans to take home.”

Jinki looked at him for a moment and then accepted with a tight smile. The two continued walking and this time when they arrived at Jonghyun’s house, Jinki didn’t stop at the gate and say goodbye. Jonghyun looked over to the other side of the street and saw Minho, resting on the sill of the window waving at him with a suggestive smile.

If Jinki wasn’t here, Jonghyun would be cursing him out in several different sign languages.

Jonghyun opened the door and the first thing either heard was the scrambling sound of long nails against a tiled floor. A sharp yelp followed and like a cloud of smoke, Roo galloped around the corner, taking long leaps towards Jonghyun, who scooped her up into his arms as Jinki closed his umbrella and slipped his shoes off.

“Jinki, you remember Roo,” Jonghyun said, kissing her freckled fur as she wriggled in his arms, struggling to break free and greet her visitor. Jinki petted her snout gently.

“Of course, that was our first date.”

Jonghyun smiled warmly at the memory and buried his nose into Roo’s fur to stop Jinki from seeing his rosy cheeks. He immediately recoiled when he caught a whiff of something that didn’t smell like her usual scent. “You need a bath, princess.”

The dog continued to squirm and this time, Jonghyun let her go. He shucked his shoes off and set them to the side. Jinki stayed in the foyer, looking around at the family photos awkwardly before giving Jonghyun another tight smile.

“My room’s upstairs,” Jonghyun said, hitching his back pack up onto his shoulder and racing up the steps, two at a time. He heard Jinki follow him at a slower pace than his and as Jonghyun opened his bedroom door, Jinki was at the top of the staircase. Jonghyun dumped his backpack onto his bed, letting the contents spill onto the duvet without thinking, and opened his wardrobe. He flung out a pair of jeans.

Jinki picked them up warily and held them up against his waist. “You like long legged jeans, don’t you?”

Jonghyun scoffed. “I was ambitious more like.”

Jinki laughed and wrapped them over his forearm and excused himself to the bathroom, leaving Jonghyun alone in his bedroom with only his thoughts to occupy him. He looked out of his window and saw that Minho had moved positions from the living room window to his sister’s bedroom window. Beside him was Sooyoung who waved at him jovially when their eyes met.

 _Bunch of creeps_ , Jonghyun thought before he flipped them both off and closed his blinds, hoping Jinki wouldn’t think anything of it.

Jinki returned a moment later, stuffing his trousers into his satchel and before Jonghyun could stop him, made a beeline for Jonghyun’s composition notebook.

“Do you have your project in here?” Jinki asked, flickering through pages.

Jonghyun scratched at the back of his neck. “Yeah…”

Jinki looked up and closed the notebook. He smiled gently with red cheeks. “Can I hear it, please?”

Jonghyun could feel his heart sink in his chest. If Jinki heard the lyrics to Jonghyun’s song, he’d know automatically who the subject was about and his feelings for him. But Jinki was looking at him so earnestly, with those wide, cute eyes, and that chubby-cheeked smile that left Jonghyun’s knees weak.

And weak he certainly was as he was reaching for his guitar before he even knew what he was planning. She was an old guitar that his mother had picked up from a second-hand shop on his 13th birthday but she played as well as anything else.

The door swung open and Roo walked in with her tail high as if she owned the place. Jinki clicked his fingers at her and she waddled over, interested at the sound. Jonghyun watched as Roo sat at Jinki’s feet and sighed, looking up at Jonghyun with though soulful, pitiful eyes.

Even the dog knew how he felt about Jinki.

Jinki smiled down at Roo before looking back up. His eyes lingered over the worn wooden body of Jonghyun’s guitar. “Is that the same guitar that you used to play in middle school?” He asked.

Jonghyun, in the middle of tweaking and tuning his strings, balked. His eyes widened and his mouth gaped. “How… How do you…”

“I used to catch you playing in the music room,” Jinki admitted with a bashful smile. “You only ever played alone.”

Jonghyun felt his cheeks grow warm, holding back his own shy smile. “Yeah well… I wasn’t very good back then.”

“I beg to differ,” Jinki said, tilting his head ever so slightly. Jonghyun stared at him for a while, wondering how he had gone through middle school without even catching a glimpse of Jinki but somehow Jinki knew things that even Minho didn’t know about.

“Alright, this is still rusty so…” Jonghyun started, clearing his throat.

“Doesn’t matter,” Jinki said with a shrug. “I’ll show you mine too.”

Jonghyun felt his heart stutter in his chest at the innuendo hidden in Jinki’s words, begging his mind not to trail back to the idea of Jinki undressing in his bathroom.

Jonghyun didn’t dare look at Jinki as he began to play his torture piece. “ _Just after I answered their call, I had a lot of thoughts. Yesterday, they were dumped by their boyfriend whom they loved.”_

He heard the bed shift and creak under Jinki’s weight, heard the paper shift as he moved it aside. He could hear him coming closer, feel the air grow warmer. Jinki smelled a bit like spring, the freshness of new flowers, and the bite of grass swaying in the breeze.

“ _Right now, I’m on my way to comfort that angel on the verge of tears, but I can’t help my heart for secretly growing happy.”_

He took a chance and cracked open one eye. Jinki was staring at him, studying him, with an intense look on his face, like Jonghyun was a masterpiece hung in an art museum and Jinki was the critic, eyeing for all the flaws and all the little details that told the story he needed to see.

Jonghyun then opened his eyes completely and continued to sing.

“ _I’ve waited for this day, when I let them borrow my shoulder, and wipe away their tears.”_

He let the rest of the song fall into silence, not wanting to ruin too much for Miss Kwon’s class. Jinki was silent for a long time and Jonghyun drummed his nails against the neck of his guitar, waiting for an answer.

“You wrote that,” Jinki then said, glancing away from Jonghyun. “You wrote that… recently?”

“Yeah,” Jonghyun said, feeling his whole head grow fuzzy and warm, his heart thudding in his chest, pounding against his ribcage with such force, he was sure it would crack.

Jinki exhaled deeply and looked around the room. He then met Jonghyun’s eyes and swallowed. “Is… That about an experience of yours?”

“More or less,” Jonghyun admitted, words growing thick on his tongue. Why wouldn’t Jinki smile? Why wouldn’t he say something positive?

“It’s beautiful,” Jinki then said, breaking into a small smile, his eyes were focused on the wall, refusing to look at Jonghyun. “It’s so beautiful, Jonghyun.”

“Thank you.”

“I don’t want to share mine now,” he then joked, scratching at his upper arm. “I suppose I should, in politeness.”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want,” Jonghyun said, reaching over and taking Jinki’s wrist as he reached over for his satchel. Jinki looked over at him and Jonghyun set aside his guitar, moved in a little closer. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

“What I’m thinking?” Jinki asked, taken aback.

“Tell me what you think of my song, honestly.”

“It’s beautiful,” Jinki said again. “I meant that.” He then pondered. “When we went to Namsan… Was that when you thought of that song?”

Jonghyun thought back to the way Jinki looked in the setting sunlight, how taken he was with the sight of his own city, and nodded.

Jinki swallowed again and he twisted his arm around to let it out of Jonghyun’s grip. “I should go home.”

“Why?” Jonghyun asked as Jinki headed to the door. Before Jinki could go through it, Jonghyun had a hand out to shut it. Jinki looked over his shoulder.

“Jonghyun,” he warned.

“Jinki, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, I just need to go home.” He said it so urgently that Jonghyun relented and let him open the door.

“When you kissed my cheek on Saturday,” Jonghyun started, following Jinki out desperately. Roo had begun to do the same, whining low in her throat, desperately, as she sensed the change in atmosphere. “Why did you do that?”

Jinki ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know,” he said, his voice breaking on the verge of tears. He scrambled to put his shoes on but Jonghyun didn’t want him to leave.

He grabbed Jinki’s upper arm and held him tightly. “Jinki,” he said, his voice deep and unsure. Jinki blinked at him and then Jonghyun did the one thing he never anticipated he would do.

He kissed Jinki.

He pressed his lips against Jinki’s seamlessly, and he felt Jinki give up beneath him, felt his arms twitch to touch at him. They stood in the foyer and kissed, and Jinki kissed him back, taking Jonghyun’s hand and threading their fingers together. It felt otherworldly. Jonghyun wondered how many others had this chance, to feel Jinki’s soft lips against their own, to hear him sigh into their touch, to even have the relief of him giving back instead of just receiving. It felt like a dream, just the two of them together.

And then the front door opened and the dream was over like that.

Jonghyun’s father stepped in, shrugging the rain off his raincoat. Jonghyun immediately stepped away from Jinki, who instinctively shifted closer.

“Son,” his father started, pulling his coat off and hanging it up. “What is my policy on visitors?”

“I need to ask a day in advance if someone can come over,” Jonghyun said automatically. The policy was tattooed onto his mind. He felt Jinki’s eyes fall on him and he hoped to God the look in them wasn’t pitiful. He took a quick glance to him and found that yes, Jinki was watching him with pity. Great.

“Who is this?” His father then asked, stepping in front of Jinki. He didn’t stick his hand out for Jinki to shake like Jinki’s father had done for Jonghyun. His father wasn’t particularly tall, but he was intimidating and he could feel Jinki shrink under his dark gaze. He squeezed Jinki’s hand, only just remembering their hands were connected.

“This is Lee Jinki, he’s the top student at my school.”

Jonghyun’s father immediately relaxed and even cracked smile, something Jonghyun hadn’t seen in years and years. Jonghyun’s father clapped a hand onto Jinki’s shoulder and then said with a condescending tone: “What are you doing with my idiot of a son?”

Jinki visibly bristled under Jonghyun’s father’s touch and he cleared his throat. “I’m tutoring him. And he’s no idiot.”

Jonghyun’s father deflected the back-talk with an obnoxious laugh and he pulled his hand away from Jinki’s shoulder. Jonghyun didn’t miss the way he wiped that hand on his trouser leg. How arrogant.

“You’re wasting your time tutoring him. Jonghyun’s accepted he won’t get far in life, it’s why he’s sticking to his music,” his father mused as he stepped into the kitchen to read through the mail his mother had left before she went to work. Jinki’s grip on Jonghyun’s hand tightened.

“Just let it go,” Jonghyun whispered. He was used to hearing worse, his father had his guest voice on.

“I’m sorry,” was all Jinki could say.

“Let me show you out,” Jonghyun then said a little louder so his father could hear.

“You couldn’t have studied long if school finished at four!” His father shouted from the kitchen. Jonghyun checked his watch and deflated when he realised it was only nearly five. His father was home early for a change. How unfortunate.

Jonghyun opened the door, not letting Roo squeeze her head out to sniff the outside world, and he walked Jinki to the park between their houses. Jinki sighed wistfully as he hummed Jonghyun’s song from earlier.

“Do you always write from experience?” Jinki then asked.

“Sometimes,” Jonghyun replied with a nonchalant shrug. “Why?”

Jinki returned his nonchalance with a shrug of his own. “You have the tortured artist down to a tee,” he said with a slight teasing edge. Jonghyun laughed, because that was all he could do. “I suppose we all have our weaknesses.”

Jonghyun stopped at the gate of the park. A few couples were walking through, enjoying the summer evening together, and they all seemed tied up in each other to mind what two teenage boys were up to. Jonghyun then took advantage of their still connected hands to tug Jinki back in for another quick kiss.

Jinki pulled away first with a bitten smile that didn’t seem to reach his eyes the way his hidden smiles usually did. He then turned on his heel and made his way into the park. He then suddenly stopped and turned back. “You should stop smoking,” he said. “Your voice isn’t worth destroying. It’s perfect.”

And like that he was gone and Jonghyun watched him walk away, leaning against the cast-iron, gothic gate with a sigh. Maybe he should give up smoking, if Jinki thought it wasn’t worth his time.

And then he felt sad almost immediately.

 _What a lonely existence_ , he thought. _Funny how we both share it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaaaaaand there's the kiss you all have been waiting for!!
> 
> Just one more chapter after this and I'll taking a hiatus until the end of May. The last chapter has a nice conclusion and those of you who have been waiting for some cute minkey interaction, your prayers will be answered on Wednesday.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I had fun writing it. 
> 
> Have a great weekend guys and I'll see you on Wednesday <3333


	14. Chapter 14

Thursday was nice again, not a single cloud in the sky above Jonghyun as he walked through the entrance, three minutes after the first bell rang. He rolled a lollipop around in his mouth, savouring the sweet and artificial strawberry-laced taste as he made his way up onto the roof. He didn’t have a decent class until just before lunch, when he would have literature with Ms Hong, and Jinki.

A pair of arms wrapped around his neck and pulled him close and without even looking, Jonghyun knew it was Minho.

Minho looked at him weirdly the moment he let Jonghyun go and scrutinised every little detail before his eyes zeroed in on the white stick poking out from between Jonghyun’s lips. “No more cigarettes? I thought you had a full pack yesterday.”

“Binned them,” Jonghyun replied honestly. He took a seat on the floor, back against the wall, in the shade and stretched his legs out. From there he could see a tiny tear in the pleather of his shoe, small white stiches peeking out against the black leather.

“You _what_?” Minho said, slumping down beside Jonghyun and dropping his bag haphazardly between them. “Why?!”

“Jinki told me that I’d be better off quitting,” Jonghyun said absent-mindedly. His eyes trailed off from his shoe to the small strips of cloud just appearing over the horizon. They looked small, pristine, and white. Minho slapped his hand over Jonghyun’s upper arm and he immediately reacted, clutching to his arm with a hiss. “What the fuck!?”

“I’ve been telling you over and over to quit and you do it just because _Jinki-hyung_ says so? You’re so fucking transparent, hyung.” Minho sighed and tucked his arms behind his head. He then closed his eyes and began to hum under his breath.

Jonghyun wondered what he was thinking about, dreaming about, as he stared at his friends face for a short moment. He rubbed at his arm and then turned back to the sky. “So have you asked Kibum out yet?”

Minho dropped his hands and his face turned a startling shade of red. “W-what are you talking about!?” He began to flail his arms around as if trying to distract Jonghyun from his original question.

“Nothing,” Jonghyun said with a shrug. Minho glared at him and he simply stuck his tongue out in return. “Absolutely nothing.”

The two turned silent again, but it only lasted for a short while before Minho asked if he could have a lollipop too. Jonghyun handed him a lemon and lime flavoured one, his least favourite, and the two became silent, sucking on their sweets without a care in the world. Only one week until the summer break came around anyway.

“I kissed Jinki,” Jonghyun then said and the silence grew louder. Minho was staring at Jonghyun with wide eyes and open mouth, his boiled sweet clicking against his teeth.

“You did what!?” Minho exclaimed, sitting up. “You kissed him? What did he do?”

“He kissed me back, Minho,” Jonghyun said, throwing his arms back and resting his joined hands against the back of his head. “He kissed me and my god, it was amazing.”

Minho hummed under his breath, a mute sign of approval. “That’s cute.” They fell silent once more. The silence didn’t last as long as the previous one had as Minho was starting the conversation up again, popping the lollipop out of his mouth. It looked like coloured glass in the sun.

“Anyway, is Jinki-hyung what you expected?”

Jonghyun stared at Minho and then deflected his eyes to the ground, and then back to his shoe, and then up to the sky. For a long moment he wondered over the word, expected. In all honesty, he likely had walked in with expectations. He had expected there to be something off-putting about Jinki, something disastrous, but instead he found that top student was just… normal.

And that wasn’t disappointing.

And it wasn’t what he expected.

“No,” Jonghyun said slowly, with a soft smile forming across his lips. “But… I think I like that.”

Minho reciprocated the smile. “That’s the right answer,” he said cryptically before he began to point out the clouds hovering above, finding shapes amongst them.

* * *

Ten minutes. That’s how early Jonghyun was to Ms Hong’s literature class. A few students were already in the classroom when Jonghyun entered, separated into their sections and cliques. A group of boys near the door all glanced up at Jonghyun and nodded at him as he walked past. He returned the gesture with a short nod of his own and then took his seat.

As soon as he sat down, Jonghyun took to day dreaming, staring up at the clouds, at how soft and cotton like they were. He could almost reach up and tear off pieces, as delicate as cotton candy, and it would melt into sparkling raindrops in his hands.

He wondered if the clouds at night contained stardust in their raindrops.

“Hey, Jonghyun,” a voice said from behind. “Jonghyun!”

“Oh, sorry, dude,” Jonghyun said, looking over his shoulder. A tall classmate with bleached hair grinned down and him and for some reason, he couldn’t recollect the guy’s name. Joo-something? Maybe? Jonghyun wasn’t great with names, if he was all that honest. Unless they were connected to Jinki, and then somehow he knew. “What’s up?”

“You’re dating Jinki, right?” The classmate asked. Jonghyun scoured his face for any visible signs of disgust or potential insults that would be flung his way but came out empty handed. He nodded slowly, sitting up. “I got these from my brother. He was going to take his girlfriend but they broke up… Anyway, maybe you could use them.” He shoved two tickets under Jonghyun’s nose and as soon as Jonghyun’s fingers clamped around them, the boy was gone, sitting in his seat all the way at the other end of the class.

Jae-something? Hoo-something?

It didn’t matter, Jonghyun decided as he glanced at the tickets with a scanned interest. They were basic Lotte World tickets and Jonghyun smiled. This was perfect; he’d be able to take Jinki to a theme park this weekend. They’d be able to spend the whole day laugh and riding rides and… Maybe even take some couple photos with a few mascots…

He could already imagine the look on Jinki’s face when Jonghyun suggests the date. He would be thrilled… That’s for certain.

And then the door opened and Jonghyun felt his heart swell in his chest, twice as big, as Jinki walked in smiling. A few of the students who had ignored him earlier called out to him and he replied with a friendly wave. And then his eyes fell on Jonghyun and it was like he had never existed.

Jinki trailed his gaze away from Jonghyun and slid into his seat.

Jonghyun’s heart suddenly felt twice as heavy in his chest, weighing heavy in his stomach. He found it hard to swallow.

* * *

When Ms Hong dismissed the class, no one was up quicker than Kim Jonghyun. He bounded over to Jinki’s seat where he was taking his time putting away his belongings. His gaze looked distant as his arms moved slowly, mechanically like a machine on the verge of breaking down.

“Hey,” Jonghyun said softly. He rested a hand against the back of Jinki’s seat. Jinki looked up, his gaze still not refocusing. “Are you free now?”

“Well, it’s lunch so…” Jinki replied softly. His eyes seemed to be looking everywhere but at Jonghyun. “Yes.”

“Can we go to the roof? I need to tell you something,” Jonghyun said, feeling a rumble in the pit of his stomach. The nerves and butterflies of a confession seemed so out of place seeing as he had been dating Jinki for a month now. He wanted to laugh at his self-induced irony.

“That’s fine,” Jinki replied. He gulped. “I need to ask you something anyway.”

The two walked up to the roof slowly, in tandem with each other. Each move Jinki made was calculated, the way his hands were stuffed into the pockets of his trousers, the way he wouldn’t look at Jonghyun, or even make a move to inch closer to him. Jonghyun had attempted to take Jinki’s hand the moment they had left the classroom and Jinki had immediately jerked away from Jonghyun’s touch.

Ouch, that had left a scar.

When they reached the roof, they were met with a blustering wind. A sweet summer breeze that brought relief from the baking hot sun. Jonghyun clung to the rails, overlooking the courtyard as students wandered around like ants. He dug around in his blazer pocket for another lollipop. He pulled out two and offered one to Jinki.

“No thanks,” Jinki said softly. Jonghyun shrugged and, with a shaky hand, pocketed the second one. He unwrapped the first one and stuck it in his mouth.

“So…” Jonghyun started, taking a deep breath.

“Yeah…” Jinki continued. There was a tension between them that had never been there before.

“How did I not know you in middle school?” Jonghyun questioned, trying to ease the awkwardness. Jinki joined him, hanging over the rails. They were close, but not close enough. Jonghyun could almost feel Jinki’s touch.

“I don’t know. We ran in different circles.”

“Yeah but… You started doing that weird serial dating thing back then… What happened to you in middle school that made you do tha…” Jonghyun slowed, he looked over at Jinki, letting the realisation dawn on him. It all sort of started to make sense: the weird reaction Jinki had when Jonghyun asked him out, the difference between his dates and Minho’s, Joon’s cryptic words.

“I think you know,” Jinki said, glancing over at Jonghyun. His face was tight, and his eyes were watery, verging on the cusp of crying.

“I think you need to tell me,” Jonghyun said.

Jinki took a deep breath. “But, first, I need to ask you something…” Jonghyun dropped his hands from the rail. “Joon and I spoke about this all night and neither of us could think of a reasonable explanation so you’re going to have to do it for me.”

Jonghyun frowned. And we come back to Joon again. Somehow Jonghyun was starting to think he had gone wrong somewhere… He could feel his heart beat thud against his chest, every beat drumming him further into the ground. He kicked at a pebbled lying next to his feet and it skittered off a few feet.

“That song you wrote… Who is it about?”

It was like a pendulum suspended in time. The sun disappeared behind an oppressively grey cloud, the wind picked up a wintery chill to it and for a moment the world stood completely still in Jonghyun’s eyes.

“Why did you kiss me?” Jinki continued, not giving Jonghyun time to answer. He didn’t look at him, his eyes focused on something in the sky.

“It’s not like I didn’t make it obvious,” Jonghyun wanted to laugh. Jinki glared at him and he could feel himself turning to stone.

Jinki began to crumble, his shoulders shaking violently and his arms wrapped around himself to keep him together as one big piece of a person. His lower lip quivered and his eyes closed, a stray tear rolling down his cheek.

“If you…” he started, his words becoming lost in the air around them and Jonghyun watched each character evaporate into nothing. “If you still have feelings for Yura, just say so, please don’t string me along like this. If you only kissed me to tease me, just tell me now. My heart can’t handle being your toy.”

Jonghyun’s world didn’t quite right itself after that. Yura. The girl with the straight black hair who didn’t know what _Mortal Kombat_ was but somehow managed to beat him fifteen times in a row. The girl who didn’t like to read anything and always made passive-aggressive comments towards Jonghyun when he did so. The girl who broke up with him when she realised he was doing nothing for her image as a saintly, innocent school girl.

“I don’t have feelings for Yura, Jinki.”

“Then who-“

Jonghyun stepped forward and placed his hands on Jinki’s shoulders, firm, yet gentle. Jinki’s eyes snapped open and they stared at each other with a raw intensity that Jonghyun had never felt before.

“That song isn’t about her, it’s about you. It’s about the day you broke up with Minho.” He inhaled deeply as Jinki’s eyes narrowed and his eyebrows furrowed. He collected his thoughts in his head, each flickering like a Polaroid as the photo slowly revealed itself from blazing white. He wanted to hand them all to Jinki, for Jinki to understand.

“When I told you I got inspiration from Namsan, I wasn’t lying. But it wasn’t from seeing her, it was from being with you…”

His voice slowly dropped when Jinki’s face didn’t change. It looked like Jinki didn’t understand if he was being fooled or if he was still awake. The roof door opened and Kibum and Minho turned the corner. Jonghyun gave them a quick glance and watched as Minho reeled Kibum back in, pressing a hand to his mouth to keep him quiet.

“I’m in love with you, Lee Jinki…” Jonghyun could vaguely register two voices talking amongst themselves, tittering in excitement. “Now, please save me the despair of waiting and tell me what I need to hear.”

Jinki stared at Jonghyun for a long time. He let the world right itself, let the wind blow past them, their hair standing up on end and goose bumps prickled over their skin. “I love you too, Jonghyun. I’ve been in love with you since middle school. That’s why I’ve been having such a hard time saying no to other people… Because I thought if I dated other people, I could get over you but…”

“Oh, that explains it!” A voice broke free from Minho’s grasp but it was immediately hushed.

Jinki and Jonghyun stared at the door, waiting for the culprits to show their faces, but then turned back to each other after a moment. Jinki’s cheeks lit up with a familiar rosy red glow and Jonghyun’s face felt equally as warm, as if he radiating Jinki’s eternal sunshine.

“So, you have no feelings for Joon at all?” Jonghyun asked for clarification and Jinki laughed.

“ _Joon_!? God no, I’ve known him since I was a baby. He’s a dork.”

Jonghyun smiled to himself before checking his phone for the time. Just a couple more minutes before the month was over. He glanced over at Jinki, who watched him expectantly before pocketing the phone and then cupping Jinki’s face in his hands to bring him in for a big kiss. The kind of kiss where Jinki’s arms wrapped around his waist, keeping him as close as he possibly could for fear he would run away again. The kind of kiss where Jonghyun knew that everything was alright somehow.

“Oh, that’s disgusting,” Kibum muttered from the shadowed doorway. “PDA is not cool, you guys!”

Jonghyun broke from Jinki’s lips to laugh and Jinki rested his forehead against Jonghyun’s with shallow breath.

“Oh, wait that reminds me,” Jonghyun then said, pulling away from Jinki. He pulled out the tickets from his backpack and handed them over to Jinki.

Jinki gave them a glance over and then grinned. “You wanna go this weekend?”

“On one condition,” Jonghyun said smoothly. He wrapped a hand around Jinki’s neck.

“What’s that?” Jinki asked, his voice dipping lower.

“You don’t invite Joon.”

“Oh, deal,” Jinki laughed, he wrapped his arms back around Jonghyun’s waist, clutching onto the tickets with a tight grip, not daring to let them go.

“You two can come out now,” Jonghyun announced.

Minho emerged first with a guilty face whilst Kibum followed after him, his face look the same as it always did.

“Would you two like to join us? Make it a double date?” Jinki asked with a placated smile.

Kibum and Minho recoiled, jumping apart before they took a glance at each other and smiled warmly. Minho grabbed Kibum’s wrist and pulled him in closer.

“You’ll have to buy your own tickets though,” Jonghyun added and Kibum rolled his eyes.

“Typical! He rolls over backwards for Jinki-hyung.”

Jinki then reached across and pulled on Jonghyun’s hand. Their lips met again. A flock of birds took flight from a nearby tree, ducking into the golden sunlight.

“Oh that’s just wrong,” Kibum said with a smile on his face.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Minho added on, and Jonghyun could hear the grin in his friend’s voice. “I think it’s kind of romantic.”

* * *

There was something strangely suspicious going on with Kibum and Minho, Jonghyun was sure. It happened on the last day of the school year, that cusp where the freedom of summer was beginning but the dark cloud of Jonghyun and Jinki’s third year lingered over them. Both Jinki and Jonghyun were sat on a bench in the school yard in the sunlight. Jonghyun was writing in his composition notebook, his legs thrown over Jinki’s lap, whilst Jinki buried his nose into a book he had borrowed from the library.

With each lyric Jonghyun wrote, he looked over at Jinki and admired his profile and thought back to their last music class earlier in the week. Jonghyun had debuted his own song in front of the whole class, playing on his trusted guitar, stunning the class into silence.

But nothing had left them more astounded that Jinki’s own composition, he had named it something whimsical, something sweet. _Your Name_.

Jinki captured the audience of the whole class with the opening few notes of his song on the piano. The piano that was often shoved off to the side because Miss Kwon didn’t like playing it. Jonghyun had heard Jinki’s voice a few times, randomly during music class, but he had never heard Jinki sing something with raw emotion.

_Call me, my name, today is exactly your day. I’ll do anything for you. I want to give you a small gift, that only I can give to you. I’ll run to you now and confess._

Jinki started his song with his eyes closed but by the end of the first chorus, his eyes were opened and trained on Jonghyun completely.

_Those red lips, those sweet red lips of yours. My heart flutters, I tremble more and more every time I see you. I want to have you, shall we have a cup of tea together and talk?_

Jonghyun had lowered his head and let a smile bloom over his face over those lines, whilst the class snickered over Jinki’s very casual conversational lyrics.

“You wrote that song about me, didn’t you?” Jonghyun then asked, back in present day. Jinki looked up from his book, completely bewildered.

“I’m sorry?”

“You wrote that song for me, didn’t you?” Jonghyun asked again and Jinki looked off to the side for a moment before grinning.

“How would you react if I said I did?”

Jonghyun twirled his pen in his fingers a few times before sitting up, leaving one hand on the bench to steady himself, and kissing Jinki square on the lips.

“Oh well,” Jinki said when Jonghyun pulled away. Jonghyun’s eyes fluttered open slowly but Jinki’s were still closed, he was smiling. “I’m glad I wrote it then.”

The bell then rung, signifying the final class of Jinki and Jonghyun’s second year. Jinki patted Jonghyun’s legs and Jonghyun pulled them away and stood up, stretching. Jinki poked the small part of exposed skin as Jonghyun’s shirt rode up. Jonghyun immediately flinched, bending over in reaction and Jinki giggled. The two then walked to class together, hand in hand.

* * *

At the end of the day, Jonghyun found himself committing to his final second-year duty – taking the bins out at the end of the class. Ms Hong had selected him with a purposeful glint in her eye and Jonghyun still couldn’t quite figure out if she liked him or not. Not that it mattered, she was moving to a different school next year, so she wouldn’t be teaching him in his final year.

As he walked the bin towards the other end of the school, taking in the never-changing sight, he noticed a figure that looked familiar but he couldn’t quite tell from this distance. At first he thought it would be Jinki, being confessed to by another girl in their year but as he got closer, he noticed that the figure’s hair was longer, darker, and the figure himself was taller.

He nearly dropped the bin in surprise. It was Minho!

He ducked down behind the half wall and peered over, curiously. Minho was stood, hidden in the shade of a tree holding a blue envelope in his hands. Jonghyun’s heart began to race, his best friend was being confessed to. He watched carefully as the owner of the envelope emerged from the other side of the building.

Kibum’s hair was a darker shade of blond now, as he was transitioning back to a dark brown colour for the new school year. Jonghyun watched as Kibum walked up behind Minho and tapped his shoulder.

“Hey,” Kibum said softly, his arms behind his back. Minho looked down at the letter and then back at his classmate with surprise.

“You? You wrote this letter?”

“I did,” Kibum replied with a smile.

Minho pressed the envelope to his face as he laughed in embarrassment. Kibum scratched at a spot behind his ear. “Why? You didn’t need to write me a letter to tell you like me!”

Jonghyun felt like a rocket ready to take off. This was way too exciting to not watch till the end. Unfortunately for him, his time was coming to an end. The double doors beside him swung open and Jinki emerged.

“What are you doing?” He asked, looking down at Jonghyun with a strange smile.

Jonghyun watched as Minho and Kibum cut their eyes over in his direction and he stood up guiltily.

“Hyung!” Minho shouted in what could possibly be anger but also humiliation.

“Babe, why?” Jonghyun whined to his boyfriend. Kibum took Minho’s hand and dragged him away from Jonghyun’s prying eyes, so their conversation could continue in private. Of all the times he had been misfortunate to stumble across a confession, this was the only time he actually wanted to see it to the end.

Jinki grabbed his bin for him. “I think they deserve a little bit of privacy, don’t you?”

Jonghyun looked back over to the tree where they had once stood as if their shadows would still be present, painted black on the ground as a memory of what had come to pass. He walked after Jinki slowly.

Neither he nor Jinki were surprised at the end of the day when Kibum and Minho walked out of the school building, hand in hand, with big smiles plastered on their equally pretty faces.

That summer Jinki and Jonghyun, along with newly established Minho and Kibum, spent every waking hour together, knowing fully well that the moment they went back to school, their social lives would be ripped apart and as Jonghyun stared at Jinki over his pistachio ice cream cone whilst Kibum and Minho entertained Yoogeun for fifteen minutes, Jonghyun found that he didn’t really mind school work anyway.

Jinki would offer to tutor him somehow as an excuse to see him, he was certain.

“What are you staring at?” Jinki asked, his own ice cream cone dripping down his hand. His little pink tongue poked out and liked at the stripe of sticky, strawberry ice cream.

“I keep thinking about how weird everything is,” Jonghyun replied, biting into his own ice cream. Jinki cringed.

“Weird?” He asked, his face returning back to his usual smile when Jonghyun swallowed his ice cream.

“How you dated both Kibum and Minho yet I’ve never seen a more perfect couple,” Jonghyun explained, waving his arms as Kibum rocked Yoogeun back and forth on the wooden horse rocker whilst Minho kept the toddler perfectly balanced on its back. “And you and I… I don’t think I’ve ever been more in love.”

“Oh my god,” Jinki said with pink cheeks and his top teeth sinking into his lower lip. “I love you so much.”

Jonghyun smiled at Jinki. “No, I think I love you more.”

And maybe he meant it. Just this once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with this it ends!
> 
> Oh man, what can I even say except you're welcom- Kidding! I want to say thank you. Completely. You guys have honestly made this story worth the pain and effort. I loved reading your comments, seeing how you reacted to each developing chapter so honestly, this story is dedicated to every single one of you. 
> 
> Thank you so, so much. I don't know if I'll ever be able to express how thankful I am to have you as readers but I am thankful. 
> 
> I am, unfortunately, taking a short hiatus until May, so I'll only be gone for a month and a half (try not to miss me too much). I do have two very different stories waiting to be posted up when I return.  
> One is a Jongyu where Jonghyun is a professional photographer who is in love with Jinki, his childhood best friend. Jinki is also about to get married. Chaos ensues.  
> The other is a Minkey story where Minho and Kibum are rivals in class but end up being forced together after getting a job at the same clothing store over the summer. It's a very typical enemies to friends to lovers story.
> 
> So you have those to look forward to when I return!
> 
> I really hope you enjoyed this story. Especially this final chapter that I think has been rewritten about 5 times hahaha!!
> 
> Thank you all again for your support, your comments, your kudos, your bookmarks.
> 
> You can follow me on twitter: @jjong_bluemoon
> 
> Note: The two songs mentioned in this story are a modified version of One For Me, and Your Name.
> 
> Thanks again. See you all soon <3


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